


Wounds heal and scars fade

by poly_pr1nce



Series: Capri Sons [4]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drug Addiction, M/M, Modern Era, Multi, Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-09-02 12:01:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20275582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poly_pr1nce/pseuds/poly_pr1nce
Summary: Life goes on after Auguste, and slowly Nicaise and his family heal and grow, and Nikandros is there to patch them up until they can do it for themselves





	1. The happiest time of the year

**Author's Note:**

> TW FOR:  
Grief  
Loss  
Returning to the comfort of addiction  
Sex addiction  
Porn addiction  
Masturbation addiction  
Orgasm addiction  
Dubious consent  
Depression

  
Everything was cold.  
The rest of November passed by slowly, and Nicaise was only partially aware of what was happening around him.  
Classes kept going, the noise blurring around him. He knew he was pulling back, away from his friends and teachers. They all knew he was a DeVere now - and he'd lost count of the amount of people who had told him they were sorry about Auguste's death.  
He and Ter barely spoke to each other despite the fact they fucked almost daily.   
Logically, Nicaise knew it wasn't good. He knew it wasn't healthy or safe. They didn't bother asking for each others colour, or checking in with their limits. Most of the time they didn't even bother checking if the other had washed his ass out or brushed his teeth. Most of the time, they didn't even care about those answers as much as they should. Nicaise knew it was a red flag - his whole body ached almost every day, they barely said ten words to each other, but would still roll over for the other almost every night.   
In the back of his mind, Nicaise knew he was on the edge of a relapse. If he and Ter didn't take a break, he'd tip over the edge.   
But he couldn't make himself care.  
Laurent and Damen didn't seem to care either. They were both always busy - if they weren't sorting out Auguste's will, they were dealing with shipping of the car to the right buyer. If they weren't dealing with the insurance from the car and auction, it was the funds. If they weren't dealing with the multiple bank accounts and privacy overrides, they were dealing with setting up the charity. If they weren't dealing with ownership, they were dealing with building permissions and rights for a safe shelter of sorts for the children to visit or possibly live in. If they weren't dealing with legal issues, they were dealing with press. If they weren't dealing with the media, they were dealing with the corporation. If they weren't dealing with Laurent's inheritance of it all and the power shift, they were dealing with staff. And if they weren't dealing with any of that, they were sleeping.  
Nicaise doubted either of them even noticed how close he was to relapsing- not just with sex, but with everything. Neither would notice if he stole a bottle or two from the cabinet, or if he went out to a party and got wasted or high. The only reason he hadn't was because he knew Gus - wherever he was now - would hate it. He knew his brother wouldn't want him to feel so shit that he had to relapse to feel better. And he'd feel too guilty if he did.   
So he didn't.   
Instead, he stayed balancing on the edge, teasing himself with the chance of going back into genuine recovery or a full relapse.  
By the time classes stopped for Christmas, he was eating painkillers like candy. He didn't think he was high - but he knew he didn't want to stop taking them even on days he wasn't aching from head to toe after getting fucked brainless the night before. Part of him knew he was addicted.   
But he couldn't make himself stop. He didn't want to, not really. Not if he was being honest with himself.   
He ducked out of his last class as soon as they were dismissed, hurrying down the hall before the tutor could call him out for the fact he'd clearly not been paying attention for the majority of the term. Ter had finished his classes the day before, so Nicaise headed for the subway instead of the car park, where he would've waited for Ter to drive them back home.   
The subway carriage was cramped and everyone was wet with sleet, but Nicaise couldn't care.  
He hurried through the crowd and up the steps as fast as he could on the wet concrete, speedwalking along the street with his hands stuffed in his coat pockets. It had been sleeting, snowing and raining for the past week, and Nicaise didn't see it changing in the days leading up to Christmas.   
As he walked through the foyer, he ignored Jord and Aimeric at the reception desk. They still greeted him every day, despite the fact they hadn't gotten an answer since Gus had died. Idly, Nicaise wondered if Laurent, Damen, Ter or Nikandros answered the two men anymore.  
When he got up to the penthouse, he could hear the TV and a very one-sided conversation. Ter was sitting on the sofa next to Nikandros, who was clearly trying to get Ter to say something. Nicaise didn't blame him; Ter had barely said a fully coherent sentence to any of them since Gus died, his grades were dropping, and he hadn't had a conversation with anyone since the funeral.  
Ter looked over as he heard Nicaise's footsteps and the door closing.  
"Finally," he said, cutting Nikandros off midsentence, standing up and striding over to where Nicaise was hovering in the doorway.   
Before Nicaise could get a word out, Ter was leading him down the hall to their room without so much as a glance back at where Nikandros was frowning on the sofa.   
"Ter-?"  
"I've been dying for your ass all day," was all Ter said as he pushed Nicaise onto the bed, already pulling to get their clothes off.  
"Ter, I don't-,"  
"What? Don't try to say you're not horny, Nico," Ter said as he undid his jeans with one hand, the other already palming Nicaise.  
"No, I just-," Nicaise knew he had to tell Ter they needed to stop - it was calling it way too close to a full on relapse, and he could see Ter was getting addicted, too.  
"Just what, Nico?" Now Ter sounded pissed. Nicaise groaned. "If you don't wanna fuck, just say so."   
"I do." It was out of Nicaise's mouth before he could think, and then Ter's hands were on his skin, pushing his tshirt up and undoing his jeans. "It's just-"  
"Just what?" Ter's hands didn't stop this time, and Nicaise gulped, trying to think of a reason for them to slow down enough to let him think.   
But all that came out of his mouth was; "I'm cold."  
Ter sighed, leaning down to kiss him, but it wasn't soft or gentle or teasing anymore - it was quick and almost clinical. Like it was just something to check off that he'd done before he could move onto the next thing on the list. "So let me heat you up," he muttered. And then; "Come on, strip - your clothes are wet and you're getting the bed wet."  
Nicaise obediently stood and stripped, trying to get his brain to work. Ter was right, technically. He was horny- he was always horny. But he wasn't turned on; Ter didn't suit being an addict.   
"Lie down on your stomach," the man said, and Nicaise realised he was already back on the bed with Ter's hands moving and guiding him so he was face down in the pillows. "Relax, Nico," Ter murmured against his shoulders, hands trailing down his back and Nicaise cursed himself for shuddering at the feeling. It didn't even sound like Ter anymore; he just sounded like someone who had Ter's voice.  
Still, Nicaise tried to relax - it'd be easier and quicker that way. He wasn't sure when he'd started thinking of sex with Ter in the same way as he used to think of desperate hook ups at parties, but at some point in the last few weeks it had became almost second nature.   
He heard Ter rustling around in the drawer and then the click of a bottle opening before Ter's fingers trailed over his ass, lube warmed up slightly, and Nicaise buried his face in the pillows, trying to let himself enjoy getting fingered. He used to love it - Ter's fingers were amazing. But now it just felt robotic.  
Before, Ter would finger him til he was a babbling, incoherent mess. Now, Ter only fingered him enough to stretch him out before he was pulling his hand away again. Nicaise bit the pillow instead of letting himself whine at the loss.  
Within seconds, he felt Ter shift as he moved closer between Nicaise's legs, pushing his thighs apart. It took a few seconds for his brain to realise he hadn't heard the familiar rustle of a condom being opened. By the time his brain managed to realise what that meant, Ter was already lining himself up and sliding his cock into Nicaise's ass.   
"Ter-?"  
Nicaise automatically tried to back up, but froze when he realised that meant fucking himself back to get away. He tried to push himself into the mattress to somehow stop Ter from continuing to press into him, but stopped with a choked groan when he realised that meant grinding himself into the bed.  
"Stop-!"  
It took a few more seconds for him to realise he was still biting the pillow and Ter probably couldn't understand anything he was saying. Spitting the material out, Nicaise pushed himself into his elbows so he could try to look over his shoulder at Ter.   
"Ter, stop!"  
Ter just groaned, pausing but didn't make any move to pull out. "But Nico-"  
Nicaise could already taste bile. "No! Ter - red! Okay? Red, stop, just- red!"  
Frowning, Ter pulled out, sitting back on his haunches and watching as Nicaise scampered further up the bed, curling his knees up to his chest.  
"Nico, what-?"  
"What the fuck?" Nicaise gasped. "Ter, why would you even fucking try that? You know I hate bareback."  
Ter groaned. "But we're out of condoms, Nico - I figured you'd be fine with it as a one off." He gave Nicaise a pointed once-over. "And besides; it looks like your cock enjoyed it."   
Nicaise grit his teeth. He could feel how much he was throbbing, but he knew it wasn't because he was turned on.  
"Yeah, panic tends to have that effect on it," he sneered as he stood up and headed for the wetroom.  
"Are you serious?" Ter called after him. "Nico, come on!"  
Nicaise slammed the door in answer, locking it before turning the shower on cold.  
Moaning, he slid down the wall until he was sitting curled up on the tiles.   
What the fuck?  
Almost half an hour later, Nicaise unlocked the door and looked at Ter. He was sprawled on the bed, eyes glued to his laptop. The volume was on low but the groans and slapping sounds were unmistakable.   
Clenching his jaw, Nicaise walked over to his closet, pulling on the first pair of sweats and hoodie that he saw, along with a pair of fluffy socks.  
"I could still hear you crying in there, you know." Ter's voice was distant, detached, like he was commenting on the weather or an advert on TV. "You're shit at muffling it - were you biting on your arm or your fist?"  
Nicaise bristled. "It wasn't a pillow, so what do you care?" He turned around to look at Ter, who was half turned towards him now, frowning.  
"Nico-?"  
"Don't," Nicaise snarled. "Don't 'Nico' me right now, Ter. Just don't. And I'm sorry if my crying was too distracting for you earlier - you can go back to jacking off in peace now, don't worry."   
Before Ter could say anything, Nicaise walked out the door, slamming it behind himself. He paused, listening, and swallowed when he heard Ter turn the volume up slightly a few seconds later. Shaking his head, Nicaise went up the hall and into the living room.  
It took a few seconds for Nicaise to realise Nikandros wasn't on the sofa anymore, but was dutifully decorating the Christmas tree. Nicaise watched, the delicate ornaments looking almost miniscule in the man's hands.  
"That's eight fights in four days," the man said, and Nicaise startled, looking up from Nik's hands to see him looking over his shoulder at where Nicaise was leaning against the armchair. "You still gonna say yous are okay?"  
Nicaise sighed. He was right. This week alone, they'd already had eight fights, and it wasn't even Friday yet.  
"I don't wanna talk bout it," he muttered, and Nikandros shrugged, returning his attention to the tree, and the two of them lapsed into silence.   
After a few minutes, Nicaise heard himself ask, "Why do you bother?"  
"With what?"  
"With us." The man paused, a small glass star halfway to the tree. Nicaise continued. "Why bother helping us? You could be doing anything you wanted, but instead you're helping us - cooking, cleaning, making sure we all eat and drink, making sure we - we function. Or at least act like we do. So why bother?"  
Nikandros hung the star on a branch before putting the box of ornaments down on the floor and walking over to stand in front of Nicaise.   
"Nicaise, look at me."  
He looked up, gulping when Nikandros instantly held his gaze.  
"Are you listening?"  
Nicaise nodded.  
"I bother because I care. And because I know how shit losing someone close to you is - how it can take over everything in your life, your mind, your body, everything." Nicaise tried to look away, but stopped when Nik rested his hand against his cheek to bring his gaze back. "I've lost so many people, Nicaise, - including Gus. Yous aren't the only ones grieving him. And I've never lost a blood brother, but I've lost best friends who were chosen brothers. You said I could be doing anything I want; I'm doing exactly what I want and what I care about. I'm looking after my family."  
Nicaise gulped, and Nikandros searched his face for a few more seconds before he let go and went back to the tree.  
As Nikandros finished putting the ornaments on the tree, Nicaise perched himself on the arm of the sofa, watching as the man started untangling tinsel.  
Ten minutes later, he called Nicaise over to help with the lights.  
"How do you do it?" Nicaise asked, and Nikandros glanced over at him as he hooked the trail of lights in amongst the branches while Nicaise held the rest in a loop across his arms.  
"How do I decorate a tree?" the man asked with a laugh and Nicaise shook his head, smiling slightly.   
"How do you keep going when they're never going to come back?"  
Nikandros sighed, slowing but not stopped his actions.  
"It's hard - really hard. And some days are even harder than the others. Usually it's the firsts that are hardest; first time going to their favourite place without them, first time watching their favourite movie without them, first time celebrating something without them." He paused, moving around the tree as he pulled lightly on the string of lights.  
"But you have to think positive - would they want me crying over them? No, they wouldn't. Would they want me to stop everything and just think about them constantly? No. And it's true, sometimes, especially in the beginning, it's almost impossible to be positive. Or to have hope. Because it just feels like the loss takes over everything."  
Another pause as he continued around the tree, taking the last of the lights from Nicaise.  
"But it's like walking down a really long tunnel. There's always a light at the end, and you just have to walk towards it."  
"What if there isn't a light?" Nicaise's voice was quiet and weak, and Nikandros glanced at him.  
"Then you have to keep walking forward, telling yourself over and over that if you keep going long enough, you'll find one. And you have to promise yourself to walk towards it when it appears, because it will, Nicaise."   
Nikandros knelt down, flipping a switch and pressing the control button on the string, and the tree lit up in iridescent rainbows.   
"The tunnel will never go away, Nicaise. Even once you've walked towards the light and are out of it, you'll always remember it. But until then, you just have to keep walking forwards, because there will be a light somewhere in the distance if you can just hold out long enough to see it."

  
The evening passed with Nicaise curled up on the sofa with Nikandros, the two of them watching the Christmas movies on TV. Nicaise went to bed after midnight, sighing when Ter was passed out in the same place as he had been when Nicaise had left.   
Gently, Nicaise moved the laptop off of the bed, closing it over and leaning over the man.  
"Terry, wake up," he murmured. After shaking his shoulder a few times, Ter grunted and rolled onto his back.  
"What time is it?"  
"After midnight," Nicaise said quietly, and Ter frowned.  
"What happened?"  
"You jacked it til you passed out, I guess. Go get cleaned up then come to bed, yeah?"  
After a few more seconds of frowning, Ter pushed himself off the bed and headed for the wetroom.  
Nicaise turned the light off then climbed into bed, rolling onto his side. A minute or two later, the wetroom light went off and he felt Ter's weight next to him.  
"I'm sorry," Ter whispered a moment later. "I went too far earlier. I was pissed. And I really didn't handle it well. Are you okay?"  
Nicaise swallowed, rolling over and pushing himself up on his elbows to look at Ter.   
"Why did you do it? Without even warning me?"  
"I was desperate," Ter sighed. "And I'd been in all day with Nikandros and he never shut up, Nicaise. He kept going on about how it's ok to grieve, how everyone reacts differently but we all have to take responsibility for how we react and how those reactions affect everyone else around us, and I - I- I just can't. I don't know. I just couldn't anymore. I thought you'd be up for it, since it was the last day of classes and you'd be stressed. I know that's not an excuse, but - fuck."   
He looked up at Nicaise. "I really fucked up."  
Nicaise groaned, dropping his cheek onto Ter's shoulder.  
"Yeah," he murmured after a while. "You did."   
They fell into silence for almost half an hour, and Nicaise could feel himself falling asleep.  
"Are we gonna be good?" Ter's voice was small, tired, broken, everything Nicaise felt, and for a moment it seemed like his Ter was back, rather than the clone who had been around since the funeral.  
"I don't know," he whispered and Ter gulped. "I hope so. But I think we should take a break. Just for a little while."  
"What sort of break?" Ter whispered.  
"No more fucking." Nicaise tried to make his voice seem stronger than he felt. He knew it was the right thing for them both, the right thing for Ter. And that was all that mattered; all that could matter.   
"No hooking up. No getting each other off. We can still make out, but that's it. And you need to lay off the porn and the jerking off, Terry - it's not good for you."  
Ter swallowed, and they both went silent again.  
As Nicaise was falling asleep, he thought he heard Ter murmur, "Alright."


	2. You've been here before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise starts his internship, he and Ter both start recovery, and Nik looks after his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW FOR:  
Withdrawal   
Lots of withdrawal from them both   
Slight guilt tripping from Nikandros   
Horny thoughts from Nicaise   
Ter getting his first taste of withdrawal   
Did I mention the withdrawal?
> 
> ~ sorry this one is quite short and kind of jumps around; these first 3 chapters don't have much plot in them but they set the foundation / add better context to the rest of this part so yeah. Bear with. ~
> 
> ~ I kinda forgot whether or not I had already named Nicaise's law tutor, so if I have I'm sorry, if not... well yay. But let's just imagine her name has always been Becky. ~

  
_**Click. Clack. Click. Clack. **_  
Nicaise turned on his heel, pacing back along the kitchen counter, tapping his finger nails against the marble to try to give himself something else to focus on.  
**_Click. Clack. Click. Clack. Click. Clack._**  
He'd woken up almost an hour ago and was still hard. Ter was in the shower. They were supposed to leave to get to college on time in ten minutes; Nicaise had been pacing for almost fifteen minutes and still couldn't bring himself to eat the fruit bowl he'd made almost twenty minutes ago.  
Groaning, he turned again and went back down the length of the counter.  
"Nuca, stop."   
He looked over at Nik's voice to see the man walking over from the stairs. "You're giving me motion sickness just watching you."  
Nicaise moaned but stopped pacing, leaning against the counter instead. He tried to ignore the way Nik was looking at him, tried to ignore how intense his gaze was. Apparently his dick didn't get the memo, and he whimpered as it throbbed almost in appreciation of Nik's attention.  
He knew the guy was still talking, still saying something, but he couldn't focus on it, couldn't focus on the words or anything other than how deep the man's voice was and how hot it would sound if Nicaise were hearing him murmuring praise as he sucked him off.  
"Nik." He was grinding his teeth and he could feel pre-cum leaking into his boxers. "Can you please just stop looking at me like that when your voice is that bloody hot?"  
The man went silent and Nicaise forced himself to breathe. He was way too fucking close. If he so much as rocked against the counter he'd cum.  
"Nicaise, breathe." Nikandros's voice was calm, not quite as deep as it had been seconds ago. "You need to calm down."  
But Nicaise was already whimpering, scrubbing his hands over his face as he tried to stay still and not hump the counter. "I can't," he muttered. "I can't fuckin' do this."  
He didn't notice he had moved from behind the counter until Nik grabbed his arm and was holding him in place, blocking his path to the door.  
"Don't," Nik said.  
Nicaise tried to pull away but Nik kept hold of his forearms. "Nicaise, don't-"  
"Fuck off."  
Nikandros grunted as Nicaise tried to yank himself free again.   
"Nuca-"  
"Why the fuck do you care so much?" Nicaise yelled. "It's none of your fuckin' busine-"  
"How do you think Gus would feel?" Nik snapped and Nicaise froze. "Do you think he wouldn't give care about you relapsing after being sober and safe for years? Do you think he wouldn't care that Ter's picked up your addiction? Do you think he wouldn't care if you two whore yourselves out?" Nicaise was silent as Nikandros continued. "How would he feel if he knew you're falling back into sex and porn because of him dying? How would he feel about Ter becoming an addict too?"  
Nicaise gulped, and Nikandros sighed, loosening his grip on the boy's forearms.   
"You have to get clean, Nuca," he murmured. "You know how and you know you can do it because you've done it before. Ter needs you clean so you can help him get clean. This is his first time being addicted to something; you've been here before. You know what withdrawal is like, you know what's coming and what to expect. He doesn't. You need to be there for him, and you won't be any use to him if you relapse."  
Nicaise gulped, staring at the doorway, willing himself not to cry. Nik was still holding his arms, ready to tighten his grip if Nicaise tried to make a run for it.  
Down the hall, the shower cut off and Nicaise listened as Ter moved around the bedroom getting dressed.  
Swallowing, he looked back at Nik beside him.  
"I don't know how to help him," he whispered, closing his eyes when Nik reached down to smooth his hair off his face.  
"You just did," the man said softly.

...

"Nicaise."  
"Becky," Nicaise greeted, shaking her hand and letting her pull him in for an air kiss. Her red hair was up in a bun with a chopstick through it, and Nicaise tried to ignore how hot she looked in her blouse and suit skirt.  
"Thank you so much for this," he said.  
"You're going to do amazing here," she said with a grin. "It's going to be perfect for you." She clapped her hands together once before gesturing for him to follow her. "I'll show you around the firm, and then we can discuss the fine print."  
He smiled and followed her across the floor to the elevator, willing himself not to look at her ass or check her out; she was his fucking tutor and hopefully his future boss, for fucks sake.  
They spent almost forty minutes walking around the different floors, Becky pointing out the key rooms and areas, as well as introducing him to board members and other lawyers as they went. As soon as his name was mentioned, condolences were given for Gus, and Nicaise forced himself to stay polite and civil each time.  
"And here we have my board room - you may as well get used to it, since this is where you'll be spending most of your time here until court begins."   
As she spoke, she lead him into the large room, vaguely gesturing around at the three manilla walls and single glass walls surrounding them. Behind Nicaise, the door shut quietly. There was a large oak table in the centre of the room, taking up more than half of the floorspace. The far wall was made up of floor to ceiling windows, and overlooked the city. It was a new sight - different buildings and streets and landmarks than what the penthouse looked out over.  
When he looked back to Becky, she was already smiling at him.   
"Please," she said, gesturing to the table and Nicaise pulled out a seat halfway up, and Becky took one a few seats away from him.  
"So," she began. "What questions do you have?"  
_How much trouble would I be in if I try to fuck you over the table or against the window?_  
Nicaise cleared his throat, trying to push that visual out of his mind before he could get hard since there was nowhere to hide in his suit slacks.  
"How does this work with class schedules?" he asked instead, praying his voice came out evenly. "Is this going to be in addition to classes or am I missing classes for this?"  
"You're not missing classes," Becky said. "For the time being, you'll be here for the same two days I am, and you'll be shadowing me. And then you'll be in class for the rest of the week. But you'll have to do your studying in your own time, as while you're here you'll be reading active casework and reviewing active files and paperwork. Once court opens up, you'll be there every day our case is in session."  
"When will that be?"  
"Seven weeks from now," she replied. "I'll get the case files so I can go over them with you next week; active ones are laid out differently than the mock ones we use in class."   
Nicaise nodded, his mind flitting back to the box of files from Richard's case which was sitting in his closet at home; was that laid out like an active one? Or was it closer to the mock ones since it was processed?  
"For the rest of today and tomorrow, you'll be familiarising yourself with the firm and the people. Next week, the real work begins. Oh, and Nicaise," she added, "while you're in the firm, you don't leave my sight. The only times you're allowed out of my sight are bathroom breaks and when you're getting coffee - even then, I expect you to be within hollering distance. Understand?"  
"Yes, Miss," he said with a smirk and she grinned at him. Maybe he was going to manage to pull this off after all.

...

By the time he stepped out of the elevator on the penthouse floor, it was almost 9pm. Becky had somehow spent the day showing him around and making sure he remembered people's names and faces. She had introduced him to each of her team members, and then taken him out to lunch with a promise he wouldn't get used to it, and then they had gone back to the firm. The afternoon and evening had passed with her showing him the filing system and bookkeeping logs, before she had taken him to the storage rooms where they kept all the paper copies and physical evidence from every case.   
The subway ride back had been quiet, and he'd checked his phone for any missed texts or calls. Ter had started back at the library and his classes today, and Nicaise had made him promise to stay in the same room as Nik when he got back home.   
Sighing, he pushed the door open, letting it swing shut behind him. The TV was on in the living area, and when he looked in the doorway Nik and Ter were on the sofa together. Ter didn't look like he was paying attention to whatever was on TV, but he was still there.  
"About time," Nik said, looking over at Nicaise. "We were starting to think you'd gotten lost on your way back."  
"Just a long first day," Nicaise murmured but he could tell he was smiling. "What time did you finish at the library?" he asked Ter.  
"I don't know - fourish, I think," the guy muttered, and Nicaise frowned, walking over to get a better view of him.  
"He got back here just after half four," Nik said. "Been curled up in the corner since then."  
Nicaise sighed as he knelt down on the cushion next to Ter. He was pale and shaky, his hair was sweaty, and there was a slight tremor in his hands.  
"When did all this kick in?" he murmured, moving Ter's hoar off his forehead.  
"Some point after lunch," he muttered.  
Nicaise kissed his forehead, running his fingers through Ter's hair. "How come you're not like this?" he asked, looking at the distinct lack of sweat or trembling on Nicaise.  
"Withdrawal takes longer to hit me cause I've been through it so many times before," he said softly. "It'll hit you a lot faster and harder because it's your first time. And relapse will feel worse for you than it will for me, if you do it."  
Ter swallowed thickly, and Nicaise kissed his cheek. "I'll be back in a bit," he murmured. "Did yous save me any dinner?"  
"In the oven," Nik said as Nicaise headed for the hallway. By the time he got in his room he was already hopping out of his slacks and chucking his shirt on the bed, before pulling on the first onesie he could reach, still pulling it over his arms and zipping it up as he headed back up the hall. He quickly took his plate out of the oven before curling up on the sofa between Ter and Nik.   
Going by how shaky Ter's frame was, and how hard Nicaise noticed he was once they were both comfy, it was going to be a long night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:  
Long way home - 5sos  
I'm with you - Avril Lavigne  
Bring me to life - Evanescence


	3. Two options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nik calms Nic down and gives him a new perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of PTSD, flashbacks, CSA and previous abuse, but nothing graphic or vivid this time
> 
> This one is actually really short so yeah
> 
> Also sorry about the formatting

The TV was a quiet buzz in the background but Nicaise didn't know what was on the screen. He knew he should be in bed, or at least in his room in case Ter woke up, but he couldn't make himself move from the spot at the counter. In front of him, the papers from Becky's case file stared back at him. Taunting him. They hadn't changed in the last 2 hours and they hadn't changed since he had first glimpsed them over six hours ago.  
"Drink this."  
Blinking, Nicaise looked up as Nikandros placed a mug of hot chocolate in front of him.   
"Nik-"  
"I wasn't asking." The man's tone was final, strong despite the fact it was after 2am, and Nicaise automatically reached for the mug, taking a sip and ignoring when it burnt his tongue.   
"Thank you," he squeaked and the man smirked as he leant on the counter opposite Nicaise.  
They sat in silence for a few minutes while Nicaise drank half of the mug.   
"What's wrong?" Nikandros asked quietly and Nicaise sighed, putting the hot chocolate down. He told Nik about the week before, how great the internship had seemed, how great the firm was, how exciting it had been, and then about classes and how he was working to keep up with it all.  
He told Nik about that morning, when Becky had given him the case files like a gift before sitting beside him when he had opened them. About how the words and photos had been far too familiar. About how Becky had talked him through it all patiently and he had had to play along, nodding and commenting and asking questions despite the fact he had been on the verge of a panic attack the entire time. He told Nikandros about spending the day having an anxiety attack and trying to avoid flashbacks. About how he had gotten home and wanted to cut. To get high. I get off. To go out and get fucked brainless until he couldn't even remember his own name.   
"I don't know what I'm meant to do," he whispered at the end of it all. "I want the internship - it'd the best thing that's happened and I'm grateful for it. But I dont know if I can cope with a CSA case."  
Nikandros watched him and Nicaise went back to sipping the hot chocolate.  
"Why do you want to be a lawyer?" the man asked slowly and Nicaise gulped.  
"To help kids like Ter and me and Laurent and Gus," he murmured.   
"Then you know there won't be an easy case," the man said. "You know you don't want an easy one. Because abuse isn't easy and it's never going to get easier - if it does, you'd hate yourself for it. You'd think you were used to it or condoning it or becoming numb to it. And you would hate yourself for it."   
Nicaise paused, letting the chocolate sit in his mouth as the man continued. "Whether this case was sexual or not, it would be hard hitting for you. If it was about a kid who's parents beat it up and broke it's bones and put it in hospital, it would be hard because you would see Ter in the case. Because it's sexual assault, you see yourself and Laurent. If it was about drugs, you would see yourself. Drunk parents, you would see Ter." He paused and waited for Nicaise to nod before he went on. "It's never going to be an easy case, Nuca. There wasn't ever going to be an easy one for you to start with, to ease yourself into it. If it was easy, they wouldn't need interns to help. And if it was easy for you, you would think you didn't care enough."  
Nicaise gulped, letting out a breath as Nikandros' words soaked in.  
"Then what do I do?" he asked after a while. "I can't have flashbacks at the firm or in court, Nik. I can't panic either."  
Nikandros looked at him for a few seconds before reaching forward and taking Nicaise's hand gently. He turned it around in his, his fingers strong and rough from calluses as he traced Nicaise's much softer skin.   
"You have two options," he said softly and Nicaise forced himself to listen. "Either you find a way to get to higher ground - you distance yourself from it, remind yourself the child isn't you, that you're not helpless anymore. You look at it from farther away, stay up high where you can see everything clearly, and you don't let yourself get sucked in."   
His fingers glided over Nicaise's palm, around his fingers, over his knuckles and the bones in the back of his hand. "Or you find something to keep yourself planted on the ground - something to tie yourself down with. Something strong enough to take your weight and hold onto you when you can't hold onto yourself. Something to keep you grounded through it all. So that even when everything is surrounding you, hurting you, trying to take you away - that something will keep you where you need to be depsite it all."  
Nicaise swallowed, watching as the man kept circling his wrists and his fingers. His hands were heavy and strong and big enough Nicaise's could fit snuggly inside them. They were hardened from years of manual labour, and Nicaise knew how strong the man was. But they were gentle enough he could feel his breathing becoming less forced.   
He looked back up to Nikandros' face to find the man watching him with a soft expression, and Nicaise felt himself relaxing as the panic from earlier started to seep away, getting pushed away by the sheer strength in the man's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -  
Medicine - Havelin


	4. Actions speak louder than words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise surprises himself and Becky by how good he is with kids. But when he gets home to Ter and Laurent neither of them can deal with him being in a good mood, so he spends the day with Nikandros and he gets to heal and reflect a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW FOR:  
Mentions / discussions of CSA (I wouldn't say graphic but.. visual? Idk)  
Swearing  
Mentions of relapse  
Grief   
Legal stuff? Idk how court stuff works I'm just making this up as I go along I'm sorry

Maybe he couldn't pull this off after all.  
It had been a few weeks since he had started his internship, and he still felt like he was playing catch up to the grown ups on the case. It was exciting, humiliating, confusing and exhausting all at once.   
At college he had started skipping lunch, spending it in the library with Ter and catching up on his homework and studying which he was missing at the start of each week now. Back at the penthouse, Nik had started spending more time away from them since Laurent and Damen were slowly starting to function like humans again. According to him, they were more likely to get back to normal sooner if he wasn't around to interrupt their routines. Apparently.

Groaning quietly, Nicaise packed his things up from his desk. It was his last day in class before court started next Wednesday, and he assumed that would mean catching up on all his classes at home in his spare time, which would mean more all nighters and a fuck ton more coffee and energy drinks.  
"Nicaise?"  
He sighed. Of course he wasn't getting out of there quickly. He put his bag and jacket down on his seat before walking over to where Becky was leaning against her desk.  
"Are you coping with everything alright?" she asked and Nicaise bit the inside of his cheek to stop the first response his brain provided to that sentence.   
"Yeah," he said. "Is everything alright?"  
"You seem to be falling behind in class," she said softly, tilting her head. "I'm just a little worried that your grades are going to drop."  
Nicaise chewed his lip for a moment before answering. "It's been harder to find extra time to study lately," he said. "There's been some stuff coming up at home in the last week or two and it's just taking a bit for me to figure out how to balance it all again."  
Becky nodded slowly. "I can understand that."  
"But I can try to get it under wraps better if you think it's impacting me here or at the firm," he added.  
"Can you still make it to court every day for the trial?"  
"Yes."  
"Can you focus and be present while you're there, and not let your home life impact your performance?"  
"Yes."  
Becky nodded, spreading her hands. "Alright then." She moved off the desk, patting his shoulder. "Is there anything you're not clear on about court proceedings?" she asked softly and Nicaise chewed his lip.  
"Is the kid going to be there?"   
"Not for the entire trial," she said as she began tidying her books, folders and notes up. "I've been trying to get him to agree to testify - without his testimony, the entire case could fall through. Without him, it's just evidence and gossip - and his statement is pretty flimsy, as far as the other side are concerned."  
"Can I talk to him?" When Becky paused, he kept talking. "Supervised, obviously. It's just there isn't a lot of his statement included in the files, so it's felt like there's a gap or parts missing or something."  
Becky turned to face him, her head tilted.   
"You can be in the room when I talk to him on Monday before the trial begins," she decided. "We'll have forty minutes with him and his family's lawyer. You'll be allowed to talk with him for ten of those. Whether you get the information you need from him in that time or not, you don't say another word when those ten minutes are up. And if I think you're not asking the right things, I'll cut you out of the meeting and you'll go get coffee for us. Understand?"  
"Yes, Miss. "

The weekend passed in a blur of careful make out sessions with Ter and TV programs with Laurent and Damen. They were still like zombies and Nicaise knew they weren't paying attention to what was on the screen, but still. At least they were around.  
On Monday, he walked into the court an hour early as told, meeting Becky in the foyer.   
"His parents are waiting in the cafe down the street to take him away for the week," she said in place of a greeting. "If he doesn't agree to testify by the end of this meeting, that's it. We won't be allowed to talk to him after this."  
Nicaise swallowed, nodding understanding and followed her through the courthouse. They went through the halls and corridors until she lead him into an office. The floor was a generic blue carpet with ribs, and there was a table set up in the middle with colouring-in pages and crayons laid out on it. A little boy who couldn't be more than nine years old was sitting with a woman in a suit who had her hair pinned back too tightly.  
"Thank you for agreeing to meet with us," Becky said as she walked across the room, sitting down opposite the boy. "Do you remember me? I'm Becky. This is Nicaise, and he's going to be helping me with this case. He really wanted to meet you today. Is that alright?"  
Nicaise cringed internally as he walked over. No wonder she hadn't gotten anywhere with the kid, talking to him like that. Most of the lawyers had spoken to him that way when he'd been younger and he had hated all of them for it.  
He sat down opposite the woman with the too-tight hair. The two women went back and forth with rights and legalities and clients and offers and Nicaise knew he should be listening, but he could only focus on the kid.   
He was colouring in some sort of cartoon dog, and Nicaise could see him glancing up to watch him every few seconds.   
Smiling slightly, Nicaise tilted his head as he looked at the paper. "That's really good," he said quietly and the kid paused. "The way you're colouring it, it looks really cool."  
"Thanks," the kid whispered.   
"Does the dog have a name?"  
"Spot," he whispered after a few seconds. "He's from a TV show."  
"So he's famous?" Nicaise asked, smiling when the kid laughed.  
"Yeah, kinda."  
Nicaise moved from his seat opposite bun-face, moving to the seat on Becky's other side so he could see the kid easier.   
"So if that's Spot, and I'm Nicaise, then what's your name?"  
"David."  
"David? That's a cool name," Nicaise said and the kid smiled. "So, what sorta stuff do you like to do, David?"  
"Music, drawing, playing with my friends."  
"Do you have lots of friends?"  
"Uhhuh."  
"Are they all really nice?" Nicaise asked and the kid nodded. "You've met someone who wasn't really nice though, haven't you?" he asked slowly and the kid paused again before he started colouring in faster and messier. "Someone who's in a lot of trouble?" he tried, and the kid shrugged one shoulder. "I haven't met him," Nicaise went on. He could feel Becky's gaze burning a hole into the side of his head, but he ignored her. "But can I tell you what I think?"   
The kid didn't stop and Nicaise steeled himself. "I think he told you it was alright. I think he told you it was a good thing, what he did to you. I think he told you the things he wanted you to do would make you a good boy."  
The kid had froze and Nicaise leant forward. "Did he tell you that?" he asked quietly and the kid ducked is head. "I know lots of people are saying he's a bad man in lots of trouble, but that's not what he told you. He hurt you, but he also looked after you, did nice things for you. Didn't he?"  
Slowly, the kid nodded. "He said he loved me," he whispered. "He said I was really special."  
Nicaise swallowed. "What else did he tell you?"  
The kid ducked his head. "That he wanted to help us," he whispered. "That his friends were all really important and we had to behave for them. If we behaved we got presents and he got money."  
Nicaise felt the blood drain from his face but forced himself to breathe. "Were there other kids that he spent time with?" he asked and the kid sobbed.   
"He said he loved us all," he said, hiccuping slightly. "And he would play games with us all when we were with him."  
"You said he had friends," Nicaise said slowly. "Did you meet them?"  
"We all did," he whispered. "It was really important. They played different games with us all. Said we were really special. And then after, they all gave him money. He said we had been really good, and that we could get presents. He wanted to help us all get presents and nice things."  
Nicaise could feel his heart hammering in his chest. "How many of you were there?"  
The kid shrugged. "Half a class," he whispered, wiping at his cheeks and nose. "He got us from different families and schools, but said we were all like a big family."  
"What about his friends? Do you remember how many there were?"  
"Half of us," he hiccuped. "When we played circle time, all his friends took part but only half of us could. We had to wait our turn for the second round."  
"Circle time?" he asked and the kid went back to scribbling, though his hand was shaking and he wasn't staying in the lines anymore.   
Taking a breath, Nicaise reached for one of the clean colouring pages, turning it around so the blank side was facing him. "You said you like drawing, didn't you, David?" he asked softly and the kid nodded slightly. "Do you think we can draw something together?"  
He glanced up at Nicaise, and he took that as a sign it was working. He took one of the crayons, drawing a stick person with dark hair.  
"See, this is me," he said, then did another taller stick with dark hair. "And that's my friend." Another stick, with a yellow crayon. "Then that's my big brother. We all live together." He added a few more sticks with different coloured hair. "And that's all my other friends from school. This is us all playing hide and seek," he decided. "David, do you think you could draw his friends playing games with all of you?"  
The kid hesitated but reached for a bit of paper and crayons. Nicaise watched as he drew a dozen circles in a rough circle, and then an outer circle of six stick figures. He gave them different coloured hair, and Nicaise tasted bile when he drew lines in white crayon from the stick figures to the inner circle.  
Across the page, he started drawing stick figures sitting on each others laps, and then other ones laying on top of each other.   
As Nicaise watched, the kid gave some of the figures short hair and some long hair before adding circles he realised were meant to be breasts.  
Becky nudged his foot under the table and Nicaise glanced over to see her tapping her watch. Right - ten minute time limit for him being allowed to talk.  
"What games did he say these all were?" he asked quietly, and the kid pointed to each section as he spoke.  
"Circle time, the sitting game and the cuddling game. All his friends gave him money after playing them with us."  
"Did any of the other kids ever go home with his friends?"  
"Sometimes," the kid murmured. "He always got loads of money for letting them go to sleep overs."  
Nicaise swallowed, reminding himself to keep his breathing even. His heart felt like a fucking jackhammer in his ribs.  
"Do you think you could tell other people about him and his friends?"  
The kid shrugged again, still drawing more stick figures and Nicaise's stomach threatened to remind him what he'd had for breakfast every time the kid used the white crayon.  
"I think he told you not to tell anyone, didn't he?" he asked softly and the kid nodded. "What did he say would happen if you told anyone?"  
"That I'd be bad," he hiccuped. "That we'd all get hurt and everyone would be mad at us and not want to play with us anymore."  
Nicaise bit his tongue. "Do you believe him?"  
The kid paused, his head snapping up to look at Nicaise.  
"See, sometimes grown ups can lie to us when they want us to do as we're told," he said. "And I think he wanted you to keep him and his friends a secret because he wanted to keep getting money from them. I think he lied when he told you that telling people about him would make you bad."  
"But only bad people lie," the kid whispered. "He wasn't bad."  
Fuck it, he decided. "Do you think he was a good person, who did some bad things?" he asked. "Or a bad person who did some good things?"  
The kid frowned, and Nicaise shrugged. "I don't think we can really decide that - we don't know him well enough. You can make your mind up about it when you're a little older. Only if you want to. But we're not here to decide if he's a good or bad person," he said. "We just need to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else. And we need your help with that, David."  
When the kid didn't say anything else, Nicaise quickly went through his mind, trying to find a memory from when he had been living with Richard and had realised it wasn't so great. "If you help us, it doesn't count as telling on him."  
The kid glanced up and Nicaise kept going. "If you decide to help us, you can help other kids. You want to keep him safe, don't you? But if he's safe, he can hurt other kids and make money from them. He can put them in danger - some of them might even get lost or taken away from their families."  
The kid was silent. "What happens if I tell people like you want me to?" he asked slowly.  
"You get to be a hero," Nicaise said softly. "A really brave hero. You'd be helping a lot of other kids, their parents, their friends, their families. If you agree to tell people about him, you can help a lot of others."  
The kid was chewing his lip and Nicaise moved one of the colouring sheets so the cartoon dog was back on display.   
"But it's a really big, scary decision," he said softly and the kid nodded. "Do you wanna finish colouring Spot in while you make your mind up?"  
He nodded, and Nicaise leant back in his chair while the kid started colouring in again, back to staying within the lines.  
Becky was staring at him with a look Nicaise couldn't quite place, before she and the woman with the too-tight hair started talking quietly about things that Nicaise tuned out.  
Time crawled by until Becky nudged his foot again, and then nodded her chin towards the kid.  
"So," Nicaise said, fighting to keep his tone relaxed. "What do you think, David? Are you going to help us?"  
The kid swallowed, leaning forward until his chin was resting on his wrists on top of the table.  
"Will there be lots of people?"  
"Yeah," Nicaise said honestly. "There will be. And they'll all be watching you. But only two of them will be talking to you."  
"What will they be saying?"  
"They'll be asking you questions. One of them will want to help, and that person will want all the other people to believe you. The other one will be trying to make them think you're making all of this up. Both of them will be asking questions that might make you upset, but you'll have to answer all of them honestly." He paused, before leaning down and mirroring the kid, with his arms crossed in front of himself and his chin resting on his wrists. "Do you think you can do that, David?"  
"Will you be there?" he whispered and Nicaise gulped.  
"Yeah," he said. "I'll be there the whole time. I'll be sitting right in front of you, actually. You'll be able to see me the whole time. If it makes it easier, you can imagine all the other people aren't there and it's just me you're talking to."  
The kid was still for a few moments before he nodded slightly. "Ok."  
"Does that mean you're going to help us?" Nicaise asked, smiling when the kid nodded again. He looked over to Becky, who was smiling and nodding.  
"David, that's great," Nicaise heard himself say. "And a really brave choice."  
The other woman said something about paperwork, and was then telling the kid they were leaving and he was going to get to see his parents.  
Nicaise stayed in his seat as Becky stood in the doorway with the woman. The kid looked at him from under their arms before grinning when Nicaise pulled a face at him. They went back and forth with silly faces until the lawyers were done talking, and the kid waved a little as they left.  
Becky shut the door and leant against it for a second before turning to look at Nicaise, who had slumped against the table as soon as the door shut.  
"Please tell me there's as bucket or something in here," he muttered and she tilted her head.  
"There is, but there's holes in it," she said and Nicaise groaned. "Feeling sick after that?"  
"Yeah," he sighed.   
"Coffee and food is better than making yourself bring it up," she said softly as she sat down next to him. "You can take the rest of the day off, if you need to. I wouldn't blame you for it after that."  
Nicaise let out a breath. "What would I be missing?"  
"Jury picking and paperwork," Becky said and he swallowed. When he didn't reply, she leant towards him, her hand on his arm. "Nicaise, a nine year old just told you he was in a child prostitution ring. That isn't easy for anyone to process - nevermind that it's your first case. Take the day off if you need it. You're no use to me if you can't focus."  
He sighed, and they sat in silence for a few moments. "You didn't tell me you were so good with kids," she said lightly. "How did you know what would make him open up? I've been trying to get him to say more than ten words to me for months."  
Nicaise shrugged, scratching his neck. "I was in foster care before my brothers got custody," he said. "Technically they're my guardians, but we've always felt more like brothers. When I was in group homes there were always kids younger than me who were upset. I guess I picked up a few tricks with them."  
"I guess you did," Becky said slowly. "How old were you when your brothers adopted you?"  
"Twelve. Though I'd been spending weekends with them during custody battles since I was ten." He swallowed. "What time tomorrow?" he asked and Becky smiled gently.   
"Same as today," she said as he stood up and headed for the door.  
..   
"You're home early."  
Nicaise climbed onto the bed next to Ter, nuzzling into his neck as the other guy kept reading one of his medical books.  
"Got the rest of the day off," Nicaise said as he started mouthing and nipping at Ter's jawline. "Cause guess who got the star victim to testify."  
"That's great," Ter murmured and Nicaise hummed, licking at the man's pulse. He bit at Ter's ear, moving his hands to start pushing him to roll over, but he whined when Ter just grunted and swatted at him.  
"Not the now, Nico," he muttered. "I need to study."  
Nicaise pouted. "D'you know how long you're going to be studying for?" he asked as he let Ter swat him further away.  
"Long enough that you'll have moved on to something else to distract yourself with," he muttered. "It's not like we'd actually be doing anything anyway if I let you stop me studying."  
"Ter-"  
"No." He rolled onto his side and pushed himself up to sit across from Nicaise. "You don't fucking get it, do you? Saying making out is fine but getting off isn't? Stopping us right when it's actually getting good?" He shook his head, licking his lips as he looked at Nicaise, who was as still in his suit. "Can you look me in the eye and say one hundred percent we're going to get off this time? Or is it just going to be another session of second base?"  
When Nicaise spluttered and couldn't answer immediately, Ter scoffed and turned back to his books.  
"Then just piss off," he murmured and Nicaise swallowed but left the room, shutting the French doors behind himself.  
He went up the hall and into the kitchen, sliding onto one of the stools at the counter. Laurent was facing away from him as he took things out of the fridge.  
"And what happened this time?" he asked and Nicaise perked up.  
"At court or just now?" he asked but Laurent didn't answer. "Ter's really busy studying and isn't in the mood, which I guess is-"  
Laurent looked at him, a confused and slightly pissed off expression on his face. He tapped his ear, and Nicaise noticed the small device in his brother's ear and realised he hadn't even been talking to him in the first place. He shut up, leaning on the counter as Laurent went back to the call while making himself some food.  
After he hung up he sighed, leaning on the counter opposite Nicaise as he put his snack together.  
"So I got the victim to agree to testify today," Nicaise said and Laurent raised a brow slightly. "Becky was really surprised that I got through to him. Without him the case could've fallen through. But he agreed to help us out with his testimony in the box."  
Laurent grunted a non-committal response, but Nicaise still took it. It was more than he'd gotten out of the man in months, really.  
"Becky let me have the rest of the day off," he went on. "Cause it's a pretty heavy case and she said she needs me focused for tomorrow-"  
"Nicaise-"  
"-and apparently I'm not missing much today since the rest of the day was going to be paperwork and jury picking, which she said it's ok for me to miss this time around."  
"Nuca, just-"  
"Ter didn't want to get off though, which I mean I guess it's a good thing since it means he's-"  
"Nicaise, just shut up already!"  
Nicaise froze, staring at Laurent. The man was glaring icy daggers at him and his expression was cold enough it made Nicaise flinch. He had seen the same expression countless times before, but the anger in those eyes had never been directed at him before.   
"Just go away, Nicaise," the man spat. "I've got too many things to sort out, I don't have time to deal with you needing attention right now. Just go out with one of your friends or something."  
Nicaise gulped, jumping in his seat when Laurent's glare grew a few degrees colder. He hurried off the stool and out the penthouse then down to the elevator before he could let himself second guess himself.   
The doors shut after he pressed the button, and he pouted when he saw his reflection. His suit was pressed and fit perfectly, his hair was still styled as it had been this morning, but his cheeks were flushed and he looked like he'd had a panic attack or ten.  
He doors opened and he went down the hallway, knocking on the door before letting himself in.   
Nikandros was at the kitchen counter, raising an eyebrow at Nicaise as he shut the door.  
"Got the rest of the day off, Ter's pissed at me cause I won't let him get off and Laurent yelled at me," he said as explanation as he went over to the couch and dropped himself onto it, curling up in the corner.  
Nik nodded, turning back to whatever he was cooking.   
"Why'd you get the day off?"  
"Cause I got the victim to agree to testify, but it was pretty heavy so Becky told me to eat and get some rest so that I can think tomorrow," he said and the man made an agreeing noise in his throat.   
"She's probably right," he said. "You look like you need it."  
Nicaise laughed. "I look that bad, huh?"  
"You look worn out," the man said as he walked over to the couch, plate in hand. "What's up with Ter?"  
"He's pissed at me cause I'm chill with us making out but always make him stop before either of us get off," he sighed as he stole a crepe off the plate. "Said making out is boring since it never goes anywhere."  
"You know that's for the best," Nik said and Nicaise nodded.  
"I know - and I know it's a good thing. He's finding his limits again, which he needs. We both need," he murmured. "But still. I was in a really good mood and just wanted to share it with him."  
Nikandros leant back, thinking as he chewed.  
"If he had let you share it, would it have turned into a relapse or would you have been able to be aware of yourself and of him?" he asked and Nicaise frowned.  
"I don't know," he admitted and Nik lifted a shoulder.  
"Blessings in disguise, Nuca," he said and Nicaise hummed.  
"Fair."  
"What did Laurent yell at you for?"  
"He was on a call but I thought he was talking to me so I started talking, then I shut up when I saw he was on call. But then after he hung up I started telling him about today and he yelled, saying to fuck off and leave him alone cause he's got too much shit to do to deal with me needing attention."  
Nikandros frowned.  
"I know it's because he's still grieving," Nicaise murmured. "But still - he's never yelled at me when he's pissed off before. And he gave me his frozen death bitch glare."  
Nik shook his head. "He shouldn't be treating you like that - grieving or not."  
Nicaise shrugged, and Nikandros lifted his half-eaten crepe.  
"Well here's to you doing a good job today," he said and Nicaise smiled as he lifted his own crepe in a cheers.  
"Here's to me," he said and Nik breathed a laugh.  
They fell into easy conversation, going from topic to topic like waves on a shore. At some point his jacket came off, and then his tie and belt, before his shirt got unbuttoned and his sleeves got rolled up. The day passed with both of them laughing, watching TV and Nik showing Nicaise basic workout moves and then getting him to try them, both of them laughing at how shit Nicaise was at them.   
Even though Nik's hands were on him, Nicaise wasn't turned on - he was just comfortable.   
Safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter -
> 
> Wasn't taught to love - Purple Ferdinand  
Bedroom floor - Liam Payne  
Sincerely, yours - Nohidea
> 
> And again, sorry for any formatting issues.


	5. Third time's a charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise faces some old demons and gets a reward from Nikandros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for:  
Mentions / references to past abuse   
Addiction   
Alcoholism   
Handjobs   
Blowjobs   
Brief mentions of panic attacks

Sighing, Nicaise made his way up the steps from the subway, hands stuffed in his coat pockets as he went along the street. It was already dark and the streets were crowded with people moving around in the rain, but Nicaise didn't try to get past them or through them any quicker.  
He'd woken up in Nikandros' bed and freaked out for two seconds before realising he was still fully dressed. The man had been in the kitchen when Nicaise had gone through.   
"When did I climb in your bed?" Nicaise had asked and Nik and shook his head, smiling softly.  
"You didn't, don't worry. You passed out on the couch, and since the last time I saw you sleeping on a couch you rolled off of it in your sleep, I figured it'd be safer for you on a mattress."  
"Where did you sleep?"  
"On the floor with a pillow and blankets," Nikandros had said easily. And then; "I don't know what time you're meant to be at court for, but I already made your breakfast."  
"What time is it?"  
"Almost seven."  
"Fuck." Nicaise had pulled his shoes on, still hopping slightly to fix the tongue on one as he had shrugged into his jacket, taking the sandwich from Nik and holding it in his mouth as he'd done his shirt up before hurrying out the door.  
He'd made it to court on time, and had been in a meeting with Becky and her team about how to proceed since they had more to work with from the child. The rest of the day had been spent in court.   
It had started with the man accused being brought on and seated with his lawyer at the defense table. Nicaise had been sitting next time Becky on the other side of the floor at their table, but when he'd glanced over and caught the man's eye he'd been frozen - it had been like when he and Ter had tried to watch the recording of Richard's trial a few years before. The man had looked away and Nicaise had let himself breathe again, looking down at the table to get his heartrate back to a normal human pace.  
Both sides had spent the day with opening statements and setting the story up for the jury. Nicaise had been taking notes the entire time, watching how Becky held herself as if she was already in control of the entire thing. Maybe she was. The man's lawyer had set the tone for the man being falsely accused, and Nicaise had had to stop himself from visibly bristling at every other word from the assholes mouth.  
Somehow that had taken all morning and most of the afternoon, and then there had been another meeting afterwards to discuss what their next move was and to break down the jury's reaction to everything so far. First witnesses would be called tomorrow, and Becky had told Nicaise to get as much rest as he could because she wanted him taking notes on questioning techniques she was going to use, and to see how good he was at reading reactions.  
By the time he had gotten on the subway it had been dark, and it had been an almost forty minute ride before he'd gotten off at his stop.  
"Hey, kid," Jord called from his place behind the reception desk as Nicaise walked into the foyer.  
"Hey," Nicaise said, only half noticing the surprised look on Jord and Aimeric's faces. It wasn't until he was in the elevator that he realised that was the first time he'd greeted either of them since Gus had died, despite them still speaking to him every day.  
When he got in the penthouse, he went for a shower first, peeling one of his onesies out from underneath Ter since the guy was sound asleep with his earplugs in. Nicaise looked at the laptop screen, smiling slightly when he saw Ter had been listening to some sort of lecture. Gently, he took the earplugs out and closed the laptop over, then lifted the blanket over Ter.   
Satisfied the other guy wasn't waking up any time soon, Nicaise went through to get something to eat but froze when he walked in the doorway to the living and kitchen area.  
Laurent was passed out on the couch, shirt half undone and jacket discarded on the armchair. There was an open bottle of Jack on the floor next to him, along with a half finished glass of whiskey beside it.  
Nicaise didn't notice he had moved until he felt the hard floor against his kneed and he realised he was kneeling beside the bottle and glass. It had been years since he'd had anything to drink. Images flashed through his mind - the way Laurent had looked at him the night before, the way Ter had been mad at him for weeks, how they were barely friends anymore, the way that man had looked at him today and had made Nicaise feel like everything Richard had done to him had been written on his face -  
What could one little mouthful hurt, anyway?  
The glass was halfway to his mouth when the front door opened and footsteps came in before stopping. He looked up to see Nikandros standing in the doorway, looking at him like Nicaise had three heads.  
"Nicaise," the man said gently, "put that down."  
Nicaise shook his head and the man walked forward slowly, as if he were trying to approach a stray and didn't want to spook it.  
"Nuca. Please. You've been sober for years. Don't do this to yourself."  
He shook his head again as his vision blurred and he realised he was crying. Fuck.   
Shakily, he lifted the glass up as quick as he could, aiming for his mouth. Nikandros moved forward at the same time and Nicaise yelped as he heard the glass smash a few feet away from them. It took a few seconds for him to realise Nik had hit it out of his hands. It took another few seconds for him to realise Nik was holding him tight against his chest while Nicaise struggled and tried to reach for the bottle.   
The floor disappeared from under him as Nikandros lifted him up, carrying him over to the kitchen area and pushing him against the counter. Nicaise was gasping, and he knew he was starting to panic. He'd wanted that drink. He'd almost-  
"Nuca, breathe," Nikandros said firmly and Nicaise groaned at the tone the man had used. Immediately he felt his breathing get deeper, and he felt the man's gaze on him, his arms still tight around Nicaise's smaller body. "Good," he rumbled. "Nice and slow. Nice and slow. Keep breathing for me, Nuca. You're doing so good."  
Nicaise swallowed, his heart thundering in his chest. In the back of his mind he knew he was hard - had been since Nikandros had lifted him up. But as soon as the man praised him he felt himself preen in the man's arms. Nik was still talking lowly, his voice deep and rumbling as he spewed praise, saying how good Nicaise was and how well he was doing. Nicaise whimpered, his hips stuttering and rolling against the man's thighs, and he winced when the words stopped.  
He looked up to see Nik already looking at him, a mixed expression on his face.  
"Nuca..."  
"Please," he heard himself whisper.  
They were still for a few moments as Nik watched him, his gaze searching Nicaise's face for something.  
"Is this going to be another relapse?" he asked, voice barely audible and Nicaise gulped.  
"No," he realised. "I'm clean. I know how to cope after. Just... please."  
They were looking at each other for a few more seconds before Nik spoke again.   
"The last two times this happened," he murmured. "You ended up having a panic attack, puking and wetting yourself." His eyes were piercing as he forced Nicaise to hold his gaze. "Why should I believe you won't fall into that again?"  
Nicaise tried to wet his lips, but his mouth was bone dry.  
"Third time's a charm," he whispered.  
Nik looked at him for a few more moments before he seemed to decide something and leant down.   
His lips were rough as he kissed Nicaise, and his stubble scratched at Nicaise's smooth skin. His hands were rough and clumsy and big as they went around Nicaise's waist and ass, encouraging him to grind against the man's thigh. His breath tasted like chilli and steak.  
Nicaise heard himself groaning, his hands under Nikandros' shirt. It wasn't until he shifted his weight to get a better angle to grind that he realised the man was hard too.   
He felt a hand come around his front and then his onesie was getting unzipped and pushed down so it fell to his ankles and he bit down to avoid keening when he felt Nik's hands going under the material, one squeezing his ass as the other started jerking him off.  
The man groaned and Nicaise realised a beat too late that he'd bitten his lip too hard. He pulled away, whining as Nik started kissing down his jaw and neck while his hand sped up. Against Nicaise's leg, the man's cock was hard and twitching and Nicaise bit his shoulder to stay quiet as he came, his hips jerking in Nikandros' grip, his entire body feeling like it was snapping and trembling.  
His body was still throbbing when he pulled away slightly, kneeling down and undoing Nik's fly. When he pulled the waistband of the man's boxers down enough to get his cock out, Nicaise felt his mouth water. He didn't stop to let himself admire it though - didn't stop to see how hung he was or how largw and heavy his balls were or how purple and swollen the tip looked.   
Above him, Nik was groaning as Nicaise sucked him off, barely managing to get his mouth wide enough. He gagged every time he pulled back, and he could feel his breathing evening out as he got Nik closer. Hands tightened in his hair and pulled him back a second before Nik came, body jerking as he painted Nicaise's face and chest with cum.  
Nicaise groaned happily as some landed in his mouth, and he lapped at the cock until it was clean before he looked up, licking his lips.   
Distantly, he was aware of the fact he was naked on the floor while Nikandros was fully dressed with just his cock hanging out. Something about the power imbalance there sent an electric thrum through Nicaise's body.   
After a few seconds he was on his feet again, whimpering happily as the man kissed and licked at his skin, cleaning their cum off of him. He was half hard again by the time the man was finished. But instead of getting him off a second time, Nikandros knelt and lifted the onesie back up Nicaise's legs, guiding it onto his arms and shoulders before zipping it back up. He held onto the cable for a few seconds longer, looking at Nicaise's face. Searching for something else.  
"Go to bed, Nuca," he breathed and Nicaise swallowed. Nodded.   
Nik let go and stepped back, and Nicaise felt the man's gaze on his back as he walked past a still-sleeping Laurent on the couch and down the hall to his room.  
He shut the French doors, climbing into bed and rolling onto his side away from Ter as he stared into the darkness.  
H o l y f u c k.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -  
I fell in love with the devil - Avril Lavigne  
Still here - digital daggers  
My demons - starset
> 
> (Yeah so idk how courts work or any legal stuff so bare with for me making this stuff up as I go along and basing it on TV drama courts)  
(And again sorry for the formatting)


	6. Something more important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 days after That Thing In the Kitchen, Nik takes it upon himself to slap Laurent, Damen and Ter back to their senses so they can actually notice Nicaise still exists, and then they spend the day and night catching up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO for:  
Not a lot? Just a summary of the last few chapters I guess and behind the scenes stuff from each of their lives...  
Is this the first chapter with no trigger warnings?
> 
> (We're not gonna mention the formatting, shush)

"Guys, can yous sit down for a minute?"  
Nik's voice was calm though the command in it was clear. But Laurent and Damen barely acknowledged him. Damen had his eyes glued to his phone as his fingers darted across it, and Laurent was pacing while texting at the same time as being on call with someone in what sounded like Spanish or Italian, his blutooth device hooked in his ear.  
"Damen, Laurent. Please."  
Neither man even looked at him and Nicaise looked over as Ter came in the room.  
"Ter, can you sit down beside Nuca please." Nikandros' voice was tighter and Ter looked at him before silently walking over to the sofa and sitting down on the cushion next to where Nicaise was curled up.  
When Nikandros turned back to the two men in the kitchen they hadn't made any moves to come closer.  
"Guys, we really need to talk."  
Damen waved him off without even looking up from his screen and Laurent didn't even glance over. Nicaise could see Nik clench his jaw. "Damianos."   
Nothing.  
"Laurent DeVere," he ground out and Nicaise raised his eyebrows. Laurent glanced over, before holding his free hand up to signal he would be five more minutes, not even breaking stride or faltering in his Spanish.   
Nikandros growled and Nicaise gulped as the man strode over to Damen, grabbing his arm and hauling him over to the sofa and pushing him onto it.  
"What the fuck-?"  
Nikandros was already storming over to Laurent, gripping him by the collar of his shirt and practically dropped him onto the armchair. Before either of them could say anything else, Nikandros was pulling the earpiece off of Laurent along with his phone, before taking Damen's phone off of him and handing the pile of tech to Nicaise.  
"Nikandros you can't just-!"  
"I can and I just did."  
"That was a really important call-!"  
"It wasn't more important than what we have to talk about."  
"You have no concept of how a corporation like this runs-!"  
"And you have no concept of how people work!" Nikandros yelled, cutting Laurent into stunned silence.   
Nikandros looked between the three of them, and then finally at Nicaise before looking back to the others.  
"None of you do. I understand you're all still grieving over Gus, and everyone grieves in their own way and recovers in their own way, but this has gone too far and I'm fucking done. I can deal with picking up your messes, I can deal with making sure yous eat. I can deal with turning a blind eye to the way you're hurting yourselves in an effort to keep functioning for your business. But what I can not - and will not - deal with or turn away from is how you're all hurting Nicaise."  
He was glaring each of them in the eye and there was so much fire in his gaze, in his body, in his voice. Everything about him was steaming and burning. Nicaise half expected to see a smoke trail or sparks flying any second.  
"None of you have paid any fucking attention to him since Gus died. None of you have listened to him or even heard him or seen him. You've all been so absorbed in your own grief you haven't seen how much he's been hurting. And none of you have noticed how much he's been healing. He's been the one holding himself up and he's been the one patching himself back together and he's been the one fucking trying to come out the other side of this as an actual functioning person. But have any of you noticed? No. And I'm fucking done standing by and seeing yous all - the people he loves the most, his fucking family - hurt him over and over out of grief."   
Nikandros turned to Damen. "Name three people he works with. Or even just his tutor. What's her name? What does she look like? Where's the firm? What courthouse has he been in this whole week? What's the court case about?"  
He turned to Ter. "What time has he been going to bed at? Has he been having nightmares? When has he been waking up? What did he have for lunch yesterday? Who does he talk to online? What does he wear every day?"  
He turned to face Laurent. "How many flashbacks has he had? How many panic attacks has he gotten himself down from? How has he been doing at his internship? How has he been handling the responsibility? The stress? Fuck, how has he felt about doing his internship at the same time as all of his classes? How has he been juggling all his other classes with the internship when he's been at court all week?"  
He looked at all three of them in turn, and if looks could kill they all should have evaporated.   
"None of you fucking know any of that. He's tried to tell yous. Multiple times. But none of you have fucking seen or heard him. And you-," He turned to Laurent again. "You almost made him fucking relapse and none of you would have even noticed the difference. None of you would have been there to help him."  
Laurent frowned, icy eyes darting between Nikandros and Nicaise. "Relapse?" he finally got out.  
"Wednesday night," Nikandros seethed. "You passed out on the couch after drinking yourself to sleep. But you left the open bottle of whiskey and half a glass on the floor. Your ex-alcoholic of a brother came in and almost fucking drank it."  
Laurent's face shifted and Nicaise swallowed as the energy in the room shifted with it.   
"When I came in, he was kneeling on the floor next to it in tears. In fucking tears. I had to fucking hit it out of his hands and carry him across the room to stop him drinking any of that shit."  
When he took a breath it reminded Nicaise of a bull breathing hard as it dug it's hoof into the ground before charging.  
"He would've fucking relapsed after being clean for years," he ground out slowly. "And none of you would have even noticed. What the fuck kind of family doesn't notice something like that?"  
Nikandros looked over at Nicaise and sighed. "He almost had a panic attack, but he managed to calm down before it spiralled. Managed to calm himself down afterwards too."  
Nicaise felt his lips quirk slightly at the part left unsaid but which was still implied. To him, at least.  
The entire room seemed to stand still until Laurent's eyes started to thaw.  
"Nuca, I-"  
He got cut off when his phone rang and Nicaise felt his heart drop. In his hands, the earpiece was flashing and Laurent's phone had over twenty notifications.  
He stood up, handing the two objects to his brother and went back to his place in the corner of the sofa, passing Damen's phone back to him.  
Laurent looked at Nicaise and then down to the devices in his hands. Swallowing, he swiped the call away and turned the earpiece off before he wordlessly handed them both to Nikandros. After a beat, Damen held his phone out too. Nikandros pocketed the tech, looking at the four of them to see who would make the next move.  
Laurent leant forward in his armchair.  
"Nuca, I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry."  
Nicaise hadn't blinked before Laurent was up and across the floor, hugging Nicaise tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," murmured, pulling away enough to look at Nicaise's face, soothing his fingers over his hair. "I'm sorry you've been hurting, ok? I'm sorry I didn't notice. I'm sorry I didn't think." He kissed Nicaise's forehead, pulling him into another hug. "And I'm so fucking sorry about leaving the drink out - I hadn't even noticed if you were home or not and I'd assumed you were with Ter." He kissed Nicaise's cheek, not pulling away this time, one hand on the nape of Nicaise's neck and the other on the back of his head. "Whatever you did or were going to do because of it, I'm sorry."  
Nicaise swallowed. "Nik helped," he croaked, glancing over to see Nikandros watching them with so much fondness and relief in his eyes it made Nicaise's stomach flip. "Nik helped a lot," he said, watching as the man's lips quirked slightly into a small, private smile.   
Damen was on his feet, pulling his friend in for a bear hug, and Nicaise looked over to Ter, pulling away from Laurent enough to kiss him softly.  
"Neither of yous noticed but Ter's been getting clean, too," he heard himself say afterwards. Around him, Laurent arms shifted as his brother moved to sit on the arm of the couch, his hand still in Nicaise's hair.  
"Clean?" he asked.  
"He was hooked on something?" Damen asked and Ter licked his lips.  
"Nico," he said softly. When both men were still looking confused he shrugged weakly. "Turns out sex is easier to get addicted to than I gave it credit for. Nico almost relapsed with it too."  
"Nuca's been getting them both clean," Nikandros said softly. "He noticed the patterns and behaviours. He decided when to pull the plug and made them both go cold turkey. Helped Ter through withdrawal and got him into a healthy rehab routine. And he kept himself clean the entire time."  
When Nicaise looked over, Nikandros was already looking at him. "Even when Ter acted out, when he got mad - Nicaise never gave in, never let them relapse. Last I heard, he's been easing them back into stuff at a healthy pace." Nicaise could've sworn there was a smirk in the man's voice as he said that but he got distracted when Ter kissed him again.

The rest of the day passed as Laurent, Damen and Ter asked Nicaise about everything they had been ignoring and overlooking in his life. He told them about college, the internship, Becky, her team, the firm. When he told them about the case - or as much as he could without going into details or mentioning names or confidential stuff - they were shocked.  
"You've been working a child assault case and you haven't puked?" Ter asked and Nicaise grinned, nodding.  
"When I met the kid, Becky said he'd barely said ten words to her since they met. But he opened up to me, and we ended up finding out the case went way deeper than we had actually thought," he said. "And I got him to agree to testify in court since he's the only first-hand witness and victim we've got."  
Ter kissed his cheek and the subject changed.   
At some point, he asked about what they hadn't been telling him about.  
Ter told him about his job at the library, his friends in his classes, his teachers, his assignments, his experience lessons which consisted of dead bodies in the morgue and examinations.   
"And there's the chance of getting a shadowing position over the summer," he said, yelping when Nicaise almost pounced him.   
"Are you serious?"  
"Yeah," Ter smiled, hands resting on Nicaise's waist. "A few of us are gonna go for it, but I don't know if I'll get it or not."  
"You'll get it," Nicaise said, grinning as Ter kissed him gently. "You'll get it."  
Laurent told him about the business, how the staff had all changed, how they had basically purged it of anyone who would throw him under the bus. Damen explained the power shift, the international deals they were having to make to get funding for other parts they were planning on adding to it. They talked about Sapphires, the building projects for the home, the legalities, the ownership, the interviews for staff and nurses and carers and guardians. Laurent said about how they were working with designers and engineers to make it as good as it could be.   
"What sort of home is it going to be?" Nicaise asked and Laurent smiled dryly, a glimmer of his old self showing through.  
"Think Professor Xavier's school for mutants, but make it for street kids and foster kids and runaways," he summed up and Nicaise grinned.  
"How long until it opens?"  
"Technically it already is," Damen said. "We've got an office and a small house where we run it from the now until the home is finished. There's already kids getting put up in bunks and rooms and we've got some staff."  
"It's still really small compared to what it'll be when the home opens," Laurent said softly. "But it's getting there."  
"The home should be done by the end of summer this year," Damen said and Laurent nodded. "We're in the middle of arguing over rights to the land we're having it on."  
"We want at least an acre of land around it," he said. "So that we can get the kids outside on good days. And maybe some sort of therapy pet thing, too."

By the time Ter was climbing into bed next to him, it was almost 3am.  
"I'm sorry we missed out on so much of each other," Ter murmured and Nicaise hummed, kissing at Ter's jaw. "Are we gonna be OK?"  
"Yeah," Nicaise decided. "We're already ok. And we're gonna be good."  
Ter kissed him and Nicaise let himself be pulled in, let Ter deepen it.  
"For the record," the idiot murmured. "Your idea of a healthy pace is fucking glacial."  
Nicaise laughed quietly. "We moved slower than this when we started stuff," he said against Ter's lips and in between kisses. "So we can go back to this pace just fine."  
"Since when are you this chatty during a makeout?" Ter grunted as he pulled Nicaise on top of him and Nicaise nuzzled against the guy's neck, trying to decide how to word his response.  
"Know how Nik said when he hit the drink out my hand he had to carry me over to the kitchen and I calmed down after?" he murmured and felt Ter nod against him. "He left out the part about how he calmed me down."  
Ter was silent for a beat as the pieces fell together in his brain and then he gasped, rolling them so Nicaise was underneath.  
"Are you -? You two-? He-? Did you-? In the kitchen!"  
Nicaise's cheeks hurt from grinning and laughing as he swatted at Ter to get him to shut up.  
"We - technically no we didn't," he said, hands in Ter's hair. "But he jacked me off and I blew him, then he cleaned me up."  
Ter was staring at him, grinning, and Nicaise realised he looked like his Terry again for the first time in months.

An hour later, Nicaise creeped out of the room, leaving a sleeping Ter hugging a pillow and blankets as he made his way through to where Nikandros was turning everything off in the kitchen and living room.  
Swallowing, he walked over and went on his tiptoes, kissing the side of Nik's mouth.  
"Thank you," he said softly and the man looked down at him. "For getting them back to me."  
Nik smiled slightly, his hands hesitantly coming to rest on Nicaise's waist.  
"You all need each other," he said.  
"We all need each other," Nicaise corrected. "You're in this family too, you know."  
Nik swallowed thickly. "Nuca," he started and Nicaise's stomach dropped. "About that night-"  
"Don't," he cut in. "If you're going to say it was a mistake or to pretend it didn't happen, just - just don't say it."  
"I wasn't going to," Nik murmured and Nicaise looked up at him. The man wet his lips and when he spoke his voice was barely a whisper. "I know you don't do relationships, and you know I don't do casual things, not even like what you've got with Ter. But I think if or when you're ready for it, we could find some sort of compromise. If you're interested."  
Nicaise nodded numbly, feeling himself smile.  
"If and when," he whispered and Nikandros pressed a kiss to his forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
Wake up - Black veil brides


	7. Strengths and a verdict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becky surprises Nicaise, and the trial comes to a close with the jury's verdict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW FOR:  
Discussion of child abuse  
Discussion of child assault  
Discussion of CSA   
Discussion of injury in detail  
Discussion of wounds in detail  
Discussion of medical conditions in varying detail  
Discussion/ descriptions of violence in varying detail
> 
> I don't know how legal stuff works, I've never been in court, so I'm getting all of this from TV drama and movies so I'm sorry for how bad it is. Just go with it OK? And I'm not a doctor so don't quote me on any of this.  
Also I'm sorry that this chapter is a little jumpy and all over the place.

Nicaise stared at her as his brain struggled to process what she had just said. She stared back, eyes analysing and her head tilted, red hair falling across her neck.  
"What." He couldn't even make it a question.  
He had gotten to court less than ten minutes ago and Becky had taken him into the office they were using. When she had closed the door firmly behind them, Nicaise had sensed mildly impending doom.  
"Is something wrong?" he had asked as she had perched on the edge of the desk in front of him.  
"Yes and no," she had said. "I'm not working this case anymore."  
"Did they fire you? Why-?" She had held up a finger and he'd shut up.  
"I wasn't fired; I quit. I gave up my right over this case."  
Nicaise had swallowed his nausea back down, tried to ignore how much his stomach was flipping and dropping.   
"You mean we-?"  
When she raised her brow again he had shut back up. "We're not working this case anymore," she had said firmly. And then; "You are."  
That had been a few moments ago.  
Becky shrugged, leaning back on her elbows and Nicaise knew part of his brain was imagining fucking her into the desk - from this angle he could see the lingerie she was wearing, could imagine the lower half would match the top, could figure out the tights were actually stockings, could begin to imagine the suspenders- but he couldn't pay attention to any of it.  
"I'm an intern," he finally got out, hurrying on when she just raised her other brow. "I'm just an intern, I can't act as the presiding lawyer on a case."  
"You can as long as you're supervised." Why didn't she sound concerned? She could at least sound a smidgen of concern, for his sake if not her own.  
"So you'll still be supervising me, then?" he asked but Becky shook her head.  
"Kirby will be supervising you," she said. "She already agreed to it and is waiting for us at the court room. The judge and opposing side have agreed to it, too."  
Nicaise blinked. "So the only one left to agree is me," he realised, groaning when Becky just tilted her head in a nod.  
"What am I doing, then?" he sighed after a beat and she smiled slightly.  
"It's the last day we've got for this case," she said. "You've seen how I questioned the accused and the character witnesses over the last week and a half. You've seen the responses we've gotten from them. You've seen how the jury has reacted. But today is the child's testimony. It's the last chance we have - so far, the jury will vote not guilty. All the character witnesses say the accused is kind, gentle, gives money to charity, loves animals and couldn't hurt anyone. Defense is going to paint the kid as crying wolf and just wanting attention, or his family just want money from a lawsuit. You have to make the jury listen to the boy, Nicaise. He responds to you in a way they'll react to. You can't coax him or make it look like you're leading him towards any answers; if you do, it can be withdrawn and the jury will see it as you getting him to remember a script. It has to come across as real."  
Nicaise gulped as Becky continued. Why the fuck didn't she sound worried? "You'll also be questioning a paediatrician and child therapist about the effects of the abuse- physical and mental. The jury need our side spoon-fed to them if they're going to vote guilty; that means they need to imagine colourful pictures to go along with the story we tell them. Defense will try to take the doctors down the overactive imagination route, or fake memories. It's an easy way to wave it all away. You're going to be questioning the accused, too."  
"But you already questioned him," Nicaise cut in.  
"You'll be questioning him again," Becky said firmly. "The jury need to see him crack under pressure somehow. They've seen how he reacted to me. Now they need to see him react to you."  
Nicaise licked his lips.   
"Then it'll be closing arguments," Becky added. "This is our last chance, Nicaise. Don't mess it up."

...

"Doctor, it's true that children have overactive imaginations. Isn't it?"  
Nicaise bit the inside of his cheek to stop from outwardly reacting as the defense lawyer sauntered around in front of the jury.  
"Yes," the woman replied, her tone tight. She was an overweight woman in glasses with her hair in waves down to her jaw, and she was in some sort of black blazer over a grey top and jeans. It was an odd mix of comforting and intimidating.  
"How easy would it be for a child to hear some sort of horrific crime on the television or from the media in general, and twist it around in their minds to convince themselves it had happened to them?"  
"It depends on the child's home life," the doctor replied stiffly. "If the child is mentally or emotionally strained, it would be easy for their minds to latch on to something in order to self project or explain their emotions and guilty thoughts away."  
"So if the child is mentally ill, it would be easy for him to come up with a story about being the victim of a crime such as the one my client has been accused of, and fully believing it?"  
"Yes."  
The defense lawyer nodded, turning to the jury with a 'well then' shrug. "No further questions, your honour," he said as he walked past Nicaise and sat down next to his client.  
"Your witness," the judge toned and Nicaise swallowed as he stood up, walking towards the stand where the doctor was sitting. She looked pissed off and he really couldn't blame her.  
"We heard you say it's possible David imagined this whole thing," he started slowly, trying to think of what Becky had taught him up to this morning. "But how likely is it that it could be real?"  
"Very likely," the woman sighed. "Children can create false memories and have overactive imaginations, but the things they invent with them rarely stick on an emotional level unless there was already a form of trauma happening in their lives that they're trying to write over or forget about and replace with something else."  
"So if he's happy at home with a healthy family life, healthy school life, good friends, then it would be unlikely he could make something like this up and take it as far as this?"   
"Exactly," the woman said.   
"Now, you've been David's therapist for how long?"  
"Sixteen months," she said and he nodded.  
"You've gotten to know him pretty well in your sessions together?"  
"Yes."  
"In your professional opinion, and your experience with this sort of thing, do you think he is making it up this time?" he asked, walking back a few steps towards the jury.  
"No," the woman said. "I don't."  
"Why not?"  
"Often, if it's a fake memory or an invention, the child will have every detail rehearsed. It'll be like they're reciting a scene from a movie - they'll use the same words, the same phrases, over and over when talking about the events. They'll have all the details, all the questions and answers, including the 'why'."  
"The 'why'?" Nicaise echoed.  
"Why it happened. Why it happened to them. Why they reacted the way they did. Why they feel the way they do. They'll already have all of that worked out because it fits in with the story they've came up with, whether intentional or by accident."  
"Is that how David has been?"  
"Not at all," she said. "He's been a classic victim of severe sexual abuse. He's forgotten a lot of the details, while hyperfocusing on others. He shows signs of anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, extremely low self esteem, and episodes of systematic amnesia. He questions himself and the events, he doubts himself. He doesn't have any answers to why it happened; sometimes he has difficulty understanding what happened at all."  
Nicaise swallowed, turning and walking along the jury box as he flipped her words around his brain. He already knew that; the therapist Laurent had sent him to had said almost the exact same thing at one point.  
"You mentioned a few conditions there - anxiety, PTSD, amnesia - Dr. Kiel," he said as he turned back to face her. "What happens next? Is there a fix-all for David? Or could different conditions develop at another point?"  
"There's no cure," she said. "While the conditions can be treated, there's no way to erase the trauma, there's no way to go back and undo it. The best case scenario for David is years of therapy and medication, and hopefully he'll be able to move on from this some day. For some patients that can take months while for others it takes years or even decades. Adults with childhood amnesia surrounding sexual assault can still have behavioural issues or substance abuse issues as ways to cope with the trauma. David could develop depression, extreme social anxiety, he could become an alcoholic or an addict, he will likely develop extreme trust issues, and he could have trouble ever making a genuine emotional connection with anyone new that comes into his life."  
"In your experience, does it make a difference to the child if the abuser is jailed, versus if they're left free?"  
"Yes, it does," she said and Nicaise leant an arm against the box as she continued. "If the abuser is left free, it gives the child a reason to be afraid of them after the abuse has stopped. The abuser could show up anywhere at any time. They could come after the child again, or hurt someone the child cares about. Even if they never see the abuser again, knowing they're still in society will only have negative effects for the child."  
"What happens with the child if the abuser is in jail?"  
"They have the chance to heal completely," she said, smiling faintly. "With the abuser behind bars, the child has room to breathe and to feel safe enough to admit their feelings, to go over the trauma, to decide how things make them feel, to accept things. And to move on with their lives without always looking over their shoulders or scanning faces in crowds."  
"Thank you," Nicaise said. "No more questions, your honour."  
When he sat down again, Kirby slid a bit of paper towards him.

'3/5 stars. 1 down, 4 to go.'

'Only 3? Not 3.5?' 

He slid the paper back to her and watched as she scribbled a reply while the next witness was called.

'Only 3. You get a 3.5 when you show the audience the bad guy rather than telling them.'

Nicaise looked up when he heard the defense lawyer stand and watched as he strutted over to the woman in the stand. She was older, in her fifties or sixties, and reminded Nicaise of an aged Jokaste somehow.  
"You're a paediatrician, yes?" the man asked. "What does that mean?"  
"It means I'm a doctor for children," the woman cut out and Nicaise bit his tongue. Definitely Jokaste in another fifteen or twenty years.  
"Now, there's no pictures or proof of any kind for this case," Defense went on. "Is there any way can you tell if a child was abused without solid evidence - without bruises or broken bones, or proof there ever were any?"  
"You can if you x-ray the child, since bones scar and hold onto almost every injury that we get in our lives," she said.   
"But we don't have x-rays or access to a machine to get them," Defense said with a shrug. "What if we bring the child in? Can you just look at him and say for sure he's not making all of this up?"  
"No, but-"  
"My client has been accused of sexual assault and the child claims it was part of a child prostitution ring - since the accusation was made two years ago, and there were no tests done to check if he was telling the truth since he decided the abuse happened months before he reported it, is there any way for you to examine him now and say he didn't make it up?"  
"Well no-"  
"No more questions," Defense said and Nicaise grit his teeth as he stood and picked up a file, flipping through it as he made his way over to the stand.  
"What injuries would there have been?" he asked softly. "At the time. We have a statement from David where he told us what the abuse was like, what the living conditions were like. He says he and the other children would be tied up with ropes, or handcuffs. They would be forced to eat things that made them sick. They would be starved. Beaten. Raped. Gang raped. Locked in a single room over night with one mattress to share but no blankets or bed frame. No access to a bathroom for extended periods of time. Forced to perform sexual acts in order to earn food or the right to use a bathroom. Left in wet or dirty clothes, if they were allowed to wear clothes at all." He looked at the jury then over to the woman. "What would all of that do to their bodies?"  
"A lot," she said quietly.  
"Can you describe the injuries David and the other children would have likely endured at the time of the abuse?" he asked and she took a breath.  
"Bruises wherever they were beaten. Burns and bruises from being tied with rope, cuts and bruises from being cuffed. A lot of bruising and cuts to their stomach lining and up their throats, diarrhea and severe constipation as well as digestion issues from the puking and starving. Malnourishment. Weak bones. Their skin would bruise and scar a lot easier while taking longer to heal. Hair loss. Irritated skin. Rashes and sores. Urinal tract, bladder and kidney infections or diseases. Colon and bowel conditions, infections or diseases. Internal swelling, cutting, bleeding or heamoraging from the rape, depending on their size; the smaller they were, the more damage they would have sustained."  
Nicaise nodded, waiting a few seconds for the words to sink in for the jury before he continued.  
"What about now, two years later? Would there still be side effects from the abuse to their bodies?"  
"Yes," she said. "But unless they can say with absolute certainty that none of it runs in their family, that it only started during or after the abuse, then a lot of it will be overlooked and treated as separate conditions by most doctors."  
"What sort of conditions would they be?"  
"Kidney infections, digestion issues, severe acid reflux and heartburn, weak bones, thin or weak skin, very slow healing times for simple injuries like paper cuts or scratches. Stomach ulcers. Weaker immune systems."  
Thank fuck Richard had always prepped him and had kept Nicaise as his personal toy rather than renting him out.  
"And the future?" he asked, trying to ignore the thought before it made its way to his mouth. "What conditions could David and the other children develop in the future from the abuse?"  
"The girls could become infertile, and the boys could develop erectile disfunction at an early age. Most of them will develop some form of chronic pain condition. They could become sex averse, or hypersexual."  
"What does that mean? Sex averse or hypersexual?"  
"If they're sex averse it means their bodies can't enjoy sex and they won't desire it, even if they experience sexual attraction to someone. When someone who is sex averse has intercourse, their bodies reject it, and they often experience immense physical discomfort or pain, and rarely experience orgasm or any pleasure at all. If they're hypersexual, it's the exact opposite. They'll constantly crave sex, they'll crave porn, they'll masturbate far more than what's healthy or safe. They'll go out and put themselves in dangerous situations just for the chance of having casual sex with someone. Some of them will seek out rape experiences because they need the fear and adrenaline to be able to get enjoyment from it."  
Nicaise nodded slowly, grimacing slightly. "Thank you," he said quietly. "No more questions."

'3.2/5. 2 down, 3 to go," 

He smiled faintly at Kirby's note. Before he could ask why he had earned the extra .2 points, someone walked past and he looked up to see the accused being seated in the stand.  
"Defense has no further questions for the accused at this time, your honour," the lawyer said and the judge turned to Nicaise.  
"Your witness."  
Fuck.  
He stood up, making his way around to the front of the desk and leant back against it, tilting his head slightly.  
"So to recap," he started, making sure his tone came out light. "We've already questioned you twice and gotten character witnesses in. The general consensus is that you're the perfect guy; you've got a good job, you give stuff to charities, and you love animals. Your friends are all perfect, good people too, apparently. Sounds almost too good to be true, wouldn't you say?"  
The man shrugged, smiling politely.  
"Am I supposed to have an answer to that?"   
"Not if you've not got one already prepared," Nicaise chirped. "But you probably should get some answers ready, anyway. Remind us which charities it is you donate to?"  
"A children's charity and an animal welfare one."  
"Of course they are," Nicaise sighed. He stood up, trailing his hand over the jury box as he walked slowly up towards the stand.  
"I don't suppose if I ask you if you kidnapped, beat and raped those kids that you'll just confess?"  
The man looked between Nicaise and the judge. "Do I really have to answer that?"  
"Nevermind," Nicaise said before the judge could cut in. "It wasn't the important question. This is; are you going to insist a child, his therapist, and a doctor, are all lying about the child being assaulted? A child who has been through therapy - and diagnosed with multiple conditions related to being a sexual abuse victim, by a trained and qualified therapist, I should add - a child who now lives with daily panic attacks, social anxiety, stomach and digestion issues, because he got raped almost daily before his body was ready to deal with any form of sexual contact. Are you going to say that child is lying?"  
"He's a child," the man said. "They have vivid imaginations and nightmares."  
"What about his parents? Don't you think they know when their child is lying and when he's telling the truth?"  
"If he thinks he's right, then I suppose the parents would believe him. Don't all parents just want to believe their children?"   
Nicaise shrugged, resting his elbows and forearms on the witness stand.  
"What about his therapist? Surely a trained, qualified, licenced therapist would be able to tell if the child had imagined it or made it all up?"  
"Mistakes happen to the best of us," the man said, leaning back in the seat. "I'm sure even professionals can get tired or confused at times."  
Nicaise hummed. "So you're saying a child, his parents, and his therapist are all - what? Lying? Confused?"  
"The boy is probably a good actor - I'm sure all children know their parents weaknesses and how to get their own way. He's nine - he surely knows how to have them in the palm of his hand."  
"I see," Nicaise said, drawing the sound out. "Now you're saying he's putting on an act to - what? Get attention? Get money? What is it? Why would he make all of this up, and keep the act up for over two years?"  
"I don't know," the man said, scratching the back of his neck. "Mentally ill children can believe whatever they want. I'm sure I can't imagine being that confused."  
"Hang on," Nicaise said. "A minute ago you said the boy was deciding to make it up and putting on an act to get attention; now you're saying he's mentally ill and confused." He tilted his head. "Which one is it?"  
"Look," the man said, leaning forward and holding his hands out to Nicaise. "I don't know. I've never met him, I've never seen him or spoken to him. I don't know if he's mentally ill or if he's trying to get attention or what. But he's a child. For all we know, one of his little school friends put him up to it-"  
"So now it's a prank?"  
"No. That - that's not what I'm saying."  
"So it's not a prank? It's real?"  
"That - no." He held up a finger to Nicaise. "It's not real."   
"So it's made up?"  
"Maybe," the man said, laughing slightly as he leant back again, scratching his arm. "Or maybe his parents decided they wanted money from me. Who knows?"  
"So now you're saying it's the parents who are lying? That they put their seven year old son up to this and he's been acting for them for years now?"  
"I don't-"  
"You've gone from saying the boy is acting out for attention, to being mentally ill and delusional, to this whole thing being a prank that got out of control, to now saying it's a scheme by the parents to get your money." He looked at the jury, who all looked confused. "That's a lot of different claims, from where I'm standing. It'd be easier for you if you just pick one and stick to it-"  
"Look, I-"  
"What's next? Extortion? Conspiracy? An inside joke that went too far?"  
"Would you just-?"  
"It'd save us all a lot of time if you could just-"  
"Listen!" Nicaise jumped slightly, stepping back from the podium where the man was now standing, hands flat as he leant out over it. "Would you just shut up and let me fucking speak you little whore?"  
Nicaise raised an eyebrow at him and the man blinked, seeming to remember where he was and what he had just said. He shook his head, sitting down and running his hands over his face before he held them out to Nicaise in a placating gesture.   
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice."  
Nicaise tilted his head. "Would you look at that," he mused. "From Hyde to Jeckle and back again in less than twenty seconds. Or is it the other way around - I always forget who's who. Either way, that was impressive."  
The man took a breath, and Nicaise leant back on the stand as he started talking. "I shouldn't have shouted like that, and I'm sorry. It's just you weren't letting me speak."  
"So when someone doesn't let you speak, your instinct is to shout in their face?" Nicaise asked and the man swallowed. His hands had a slight tremor in them and his face was flushed.  
"None of those things are true. I don't know why this boy is saying these things about me but it's not true. I never laid a hand on him, or any other children. This entire case is ridiculous."  
Nicaise hummed as the man continued, his voice getting louder. "And you all know it. Bloody hell, the hot lawyer took a back seat and let her boytoy student take the reigns on this! That just shows you people know you don't have a case against me!"  
Nicaise shrugged. "Not my problem," he said, looking at the jury then back to the man. "Let's recap, shall we? In the last - what? Let's call it ten minutes? - you've said the child in question is making his claims up for attention, then that he's mentally ill, then it's all a giant prank on you, then his parents want your money. Then you shouted in my face and called me a whore, before going back to being Mr. Perfect for a few seconds and then began shouting about how you're innocent and we don't have a case against you. Oh, and you've been sporting a semi this whole time - it stayed all through you getting questioned about child assault, and when you called me a whore." He shrugged, drumming his fingers on the stand in front of the man as he leant against it. "I mean, I'm no expert, - I'm still just a teenaged whore, apparently - but child assault doesn't sound that hot to me. But that's just my opinion."  
Nicaise shrugged again as he backed off. The man was staring at him as a few of the jurors began whispering and murmuring. "I'd say your lawyer has his work cut out getting you out of this hole now. No more questions, your honour."  
As Nicaise went back to the table, the jurors whispering got louder and was joined by talking and tutting in the stands.  
"Court will resume after a ten minute recess," the judge decided with a knock of the gavel. As Nicaise walked out the room with Kirby, he could still hear people whispering to each other. When he caught Becky's eye in the hallway, the redhead was smiling at him.  
"You knew he'd react to me," he said once they were back in the office and Becky smirked.  
"You didn't?" she countered and Nicaise shrugged as he flopped into one of the chairs.  
"I wasn't sure. I know I'm good at getting under people's skin, but I didn't think that would happen."  
"And here I was thinking you had smarts," Becky sighed and he looked up as she perched on the edge of the desk in front of him.  
"What?"  
"He didn't react like that because you just annoyed him," she said. "Don't play dumb, Nicaise- we've both seen the way he's been looking at you for the entire trial. You're not a child, but you're not even twenty yet. You've still got a youthful energy and he reacts to that. Your eyes are still big and beautiful and innocent looking. I knew if you questioned him, he'd be offended by the idea of being questioned by a child." She shrugged. "I knew you would keep pushing him so combine that with how you look, and it was guaranteed he would start to crack."  
Nicaise nodded slowly as he processed that.   
"Defense will be questioning the child first," she said. "They're going to push him far enough he gets upset. That way they'll have grounds to call for a recess before you get to question him - I want you to object to that. Kirby will tell you when it's alright to object to the way the child is being questioned. But we can't have the recess happen before you get to talk to him. He'll be crying and upset so you'll have to calm him down while questioning him. Then it'll be a break before closing arguments, and then the jury will be out."  
Nicaise let out a breath as his brain went through everything she had just said.  
Fucking hell.   
...  
"How old are you?"   
"Nine."   
"And how old were you when you told the police about my client?"  
"Seven."  
"Seven," Defense repeated and Nicaise sighed. He already knew where this was going. "Seven years old. To most seven year olds, the worst thing they'll say has happened to them was when they didn't get candy, or their parents yelled at them, or they lost a teddy or missed a cartoon. But when you were seven, you decided you had been abducted - abducted but always returned back to your parents, who never suspected anything, I should point out - and beaten, abused, starved and raped. You decided that it was my client who did all of that to you."  
Kirby slid a note over to Nicaise's elbow and he looked at it before he stood up. "Objection," he called. "Not letting the witness speak, your honour."  
"Defense will ask a question or withdraw the statements," the judge said.  
"Yes your honour," Defense said, cutting a glare to Nicaise as he sat back down next to Kirby. "Did you or did you not accuse my client of doing those things to you?" the man asked.  
"I did-"  
"And it was my client? That man, over there. Look at him and tell us if he's the one you're saying did all those terrible things to you."  
As he spoke, defense leant in against the witness stand, gesturing for the child to look over at where the accused was sitting across the room. "Was it him? Look at him."  
"He-"  
"Look at him." He pointed at his client again and the boy stammered as he looked over. His whole frame was starting to shake.  
Kirby tapped the note again and Nicaise stood back up. "Objection, your honour."  
"Withdrawn," Defense cut in and Nicaise sighed as he sat back down.   
In the witness stand, the child was staring to cry, his shoulders shaking as he gulped and sniffed.  
"Tell us how you think he did those things and your parents didn't notice," Defense bit out.  
"They never saw the marks-"  
"Never saw the marks? We had a doctor in here earlier saying that there should have been bruises all over you - how did your parents not see them?"  
"I wore long sleeves and-"  
"Most seven year olds I've met still need help getting dressed," Defense cut in. Nicaise looked over at Kirby but she shook her head faintly and he grimaced as he looked back to the scene in front. "Didn't they see any marks when they helped you change?"  
"I could already dress myself-"  
"What about at school? Did your teachers notice? Friends?"  
"I told them I fell down the stairs or got it at the park-"  
"If the things you said he did were so terrible, why not tell anyone when it was going on? Why wait a few months?"  
"I - I didn't know it was bad - he said it was ok-"  
"But you said there were bruises. That it hurt. That it made you cry. And you didn't think it was a bad thing?"  
"I didn't know-"  
"So what made you decide to tell anyone, then? What made you realise it was a bad thing?"  
"A group came to our school and they - they were telling us about good touch and bad touch and - and things grown ups weren't meant to do to kids -"  
"So you heard them list things that were bad and you decided to tell your parents that my client had done those things to you?"  
"Your honour," Nicaise objected. "Phrasing and leading the witness."  
"I'll allow it," the judge toned and Nicaise swallowed back his remark as he glanced over at Kirby, who didn't look surprised.  
"Witness will answer the question," the judge continued and in the box the child frowned.  
"Yes-?"  
"No more questions," Defense cut in, strutting back to the desk where the accused was sitting. "Defense would like to call for a five minute recess for the witness to calm down before further questioning," he continued and Nicaise stood up.  
"That won't be necessary, your honour."  
"Both parties approach," the judge sighed and Nicaise walked over to the box with defense a step behind.   
"He's clearly upset," the man said quietly.   
"Because of the way you questioned him," Nicaise cut in. "It'll be better for him if we get it over with now - that way he doesn't have to go through it all twice. If anything it'll make him more upset coming back after a recess, and he could go into a panic attack then."  
"Recess denied," the judge decided and Nicaise let out a breath. Defense glared at him before going back to the table.  
"Your witness," the judge said and Nicaise nodded, going back to Kirby.   
"Do you have any tissues?" he asked quietly and she took a packet out of her handbag. He walked across the floor and put the packet on the witness stand in front of the boy.  
"Here you go," he said softly and the boy opened them shakily, still sniffling. Nicaise positioned himself so that he was leaning against the witness stand with his body blocking the boy's view of the accused.  
"How old were you when the bad things happened for the first time?" he asked gently when the boy was done wiping his face.  
"I - I don't remember," the boy stuttered and Nicaise wet his lips.  
"Ok," he said. "David, what's the earliest memory you have of the bad things?"  
"The first time we played one of his games," the boy whispered after a pause.  
"What game was that?"  
"He said it was practice for circle time," the boy got out. "He wanted us to take turns practicing with him before his friends came over to play with us. So that we played right with them."  
"Can you tell me about when he practiced playing circle time with yous for the first time?" Nicaise asked softly and the boy gulped.   
"Like the rules or what happened when we played?"  
"What happened when you played," Nicaise clarified and the boy sniffed.  
"We - we had to go on our knees and he stayed standing up. He told us what to take off so some of us were in our underwear and some were naked and some just had tshirts on. The first time, he made us take all his clothes off too. When we were on our knees he told us to take turns tou- take turns touching him-"  
He hiccuped as his breathing shifted and Nicaise leant forward.  
"David, breathe. You're safe right now - he's not going to hurt you. Alright?" he murmured, still loud enough for the jury and judge to hear. "There's no rush. You can take as long as you need, no one's going to tell you to hurry up. Ok?"  
The boy nodded, his face flushed and Nicaise folded his arms on the stand, waiting.  
"We took turns touching hi- his thing," the boy said quietly after he'd gotten his breath back. "He told us we had to make him feel good. First we had to use our hands and - and wrap them around it like he showed us to. Then after we all had a turn of that he told us to - to use our mouths and lick it. We weren't allowed to say we didn't like the taste or how it felt, not even when it got all wet and slippy. If we said that, he hit us."   
He took a breath and Nicaise steeled himself for what he knew was next.   
"After a few minutes of playing and taking turns, lots of - lots of white stuff came out of his thing and tasted gross but he put it all over our faces. He said that meant we had been really good and were good at following the rules of the game."  
Nicaise gulped, wetting his lips as he watched the jury for their responses while the boy spoke.  
"What if someone broke the rules?" he asked. "What happened then?"  
"He'd get really mad," the boy sobbed. "Whoever broke the rules would get hit and yelled at in front of the rest of us. Sometimes if we broke the rules when his friends were over to play he would let them hit us and told us we deserved it for being bad. Whoever broke the rules wasn't allowed to go to the toilet until he decided they had learned their lesson. Sometimes we weren't allowed food if we had been bad but other times we would get forced to eat and drink until - until we had an accident," the boy finished in a whisper and Nicaise took a breath.  
"What happened if you told him you didn't want to play?" he asked softly and the boy sniffed.  
"He hit us. Yelled at us, said we were bad and embarrassing him, that he didn't want to be friends with us if we wouldn't play his games. He said we didn't deserve friends if we wouldn't play with them."  
"Did you ever tell him you didn't want to play?" Nicaise asked and the boy nodded. "What did he do?"  
"He screamed at me, then when I tried to run out the room he hit me and pushed me on the ground and - and kept hitting me. Then he - he was on top of me and pushing my face into the carpet and - and- and he peed on me. He said I deserved it for being bad. He said I had to remember I belonged to him, and that meant I had to play his games."  
The boy's whole frame was shaking and Nicaise forced himself to breathe.  
"Just one more thing, David," he said softly. "Did he ever say what would happen if you told anyone about what he did?"  
The boy nodded and Nicaise looked to the jury. "What did he say?"  
"That everyone would hate us," the boy said. "That they'd think we were making it up. If they didn't believe us they would think we were liars and wouldn't want to be around us because liars are bad. And if they did believe us then they wouldn't want to be with us because they would know how disgusting and bad we were. He said no one would ever want us or love us if we told on him."  
The jurors faces were all paler than they had been, and their expressions were a mix of horror, guilt, pain and disgust.  
"No more questions, your honour."  
...  
The breeze outside the courthouse was cold but Nicaise still felt sweaty. It had been over an hour since the boy's testimony and he could still taste bile.   
After the testimony, the judge had called a ten minute recess which Nicaise had spent half of retching. Becky had been waiting outside the restroom with a bottle of water and breath mint.  
"Always better out than in," she had said. "As long as you didn't get any on your suit."  
When court had returned, Defense had began the closing arguments. He had argued his client had been wrongfully accused by a mentally ill child and was actually the true victim in the entire case; that the jury should vote not guilty because his client had done nothing wrong and had a good life. When it was Nicaise's turn, his stomach had felt like it was trying to drag his heart down into itself. He had argued that the child was the victim, and that the jury should vote guilty to save the lives and wellbeing of the other children and countless in the future who could fall victim if the accused was let off free.  
The judge had called the trial to a close and the jury had been let out. By the time Nicaise had gotten outside he had been on the edge of a panic attack, flashbacks threatening to take him back to Richard and foster care.  
"I'm sorry this was your first case."  
Becky's voice tore him out of his mind and he blinked, noticing she was standing next to him, a coffee held out to him.  
"But I'm not sorry I put you on this one," she added as he took the sealed cup from her. When he only gave her a confused look she continued. "You did even better on this case than I had expected. And you were better on the floor than I thought you would be, especially for your first time. But I had hoped your first case wouldn't be something that hit so close to home."  
Nicaise frowned. "But it didn't-?" His response died in his throat when Becky gave him a 'you can't be serious' look.  
"I know you were the unnamed child in the Richard DeVere case," she said. "I have for a while now."  
He waited. For the panic. For the flashback. For the tears. For the crying. For the puking.  
But nothing happened. Somehow he was beginning to calm down.  
"How long?" he asked.  
"I suspected it as soon as I found out you're a DeVere," she said nonchalantly. "Just because the math would add up. But I didn't know for sure until I saw you in that meeting with the boy. The way you were with him, it was like you had been in his position - like someone had had a very similar conversation with you when you were around his age."  
Nicaise nodded slowly, sipping his coffee.  
"Why did you let me stay on the case when you knew it could get personal?"   
"Because I wanted to see if you could keep it professional," she said. "I would've liked to have prepared you for it better, but I figured if you really couldn't handle it you would have came to me."  
Nicaise swallowed, looking out over the street.  
"That's why you made me take the lead," he realised. "Not just because you knew I'd push that guy or because the boy would talk to me; it was because you knew the connection would be strong enough for the jury to see."  
"Nicaise," Becky sighed. "Did you actually think I would step down from a case like this and put an intern in charge if I didn't think you had a better chance of winning the jury over than I did?"  
He could feel himself starting at smile, and she shrugged as she turned to look at the traffic and people milling around. They fell into a comfortable silence, both of them sipping their coffees.

It was another twenty minutes before they got called back in. Apparently the jury had came to a verdict quicker than expected, and as they sat down Nicaise saw Defense and the accused looking smug. Becky has said that usually the longer the jury stayed out, the better the chance they would vote guilty; the faster they could all agree, the more likely they were to vote not guilty.  
Nicaise gulped.  
The judge called the court to session and the head juror stood up. She handed a bit of paper to someone who passed it to the judge, who read it and passed it back.  
"On the charges of kidnapping, child abduction, child sexual assault, child abuse, profiting from child prostitution, and aiding and abetting fellow child abusers," the woman began and Nicaise swallowed acid. "We the jury find the defendant: guilty, on all charges."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -  
I'm so sick of this - guccihighwaters   
Circling - Nils Frahm
> 
> Again, sorry for the formatting - just imagine the italics ok?


	8. If and when

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise gets home and everyone is very proud. Especially Nikandros.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for  
Discussion of triggers  
References to past abuse / CSA   
Kinda just a recap of stuff?  
If you need anything specific tagged let me know - but this is just some light relief after That Hellslide of the last chapter

Nicaise's skin was buzzing as he walked into the penthouse. His whole body felt like it was full of electricity.  
"Someone looks hap-"  
Laurent didn't even get to finish his sentence before Nicaise was hugging him. His brother let out a surprised noise at the impact, but then his arms were around Nicaise, chin on his shoulder.   
"Thank you," Nicaise murmured. "For testifying against that asshole," he added when Laurent made a confused grunt. "I never actually realised how hard that must have been for you. How much it took for you to go through with it."  
Laurent's arms tightened around him before his hands came up, cupping Nicaise's face as he kissed his forehead. "You're welcome," he said. "And I'd do it all over again if it meant getting you."  
Nicaise smiled softly, kissing his brother's cheek.  
"What's got you so cuddly?" Ter asked from across the room and Nicaise looked over.  
"It was the last day of the trial so the kid was testifying and the jury came to a verdict about the asshat."  
"Verdict?" Damen echoed and Nicaise felt himself grinning. "What did they decide?"  
"Guilty," he said. "On all charges."  
"Thank fuck," Laurent breathed and Nicaise bit his lip as he felt his grin get wider. "But that's not all," he heard himself say. When he felt everyone's attention zero back in on him he continued. "Becky stepped down this morning. Guess who she put on the floor today."  
"No way," Laurent said.  
"Are you serious?" Damen asked at the same time and Nicaise nodded.  
"First I had to question a child therapist, then a paediatrician, then the jackass and then the kid. Then I had to do the closing argument too."  
The words were barely out of his mouth before he'd been pulled out of Laurent's arms and was in Ter's with his legs wrapped around the other guy's waist as Ter kissed him, hands on his ass and thighs to hold him up.  
"I'm so fucking proud of you, Nico," Ter said against his lips in between kisses. "You did so good. So fucking good."  
...  
Half an hour of lazy making out on the sofa later, the front door opened as Nikandros let himself in.  
"You're home early," he said when he saw Nicaise tangled up in Ter's legs.  
"Court let out early," he said and Nikandros hummed as he headed over to the kitchen where Laurent and Damen were starting on dinner.   
"How much further did you get with it today?"  
"It was the last day of the trial and the jury came back with their verdict," Nicaise murmured and Nik looked over at him.  
"Please say they voted guilty."  
"Guilty on all charges," Nicaise chirped. "And Becky stepped down this morning so it was me on the floor today, not her. She said I had a better chance of getting the jury to vote guilty."   
As he told Nikandros about questioning the doctors and the kid and the accused, Ter got up and went over to help with dinner. When he did, Nikandros moved over to sit next to Nicaise on the sofa.   
After a few minutes, Nicaise heard Ter say he was going through to study. Laurent cut in a minute or so later saying he was going to the store, and Damen decided to go along in case they saw anything else they liked, and Nicaise frowned slightly as they both rushed put the penthouse, closing the door loudly behind themselves.  
"Well that was..."  
"Weird," Nikandros finished and Nicaise nodded.  
"Yeah," he agreed. "Weird."  
"But you were saying - about the guy," Nik prompted and Nicaise nodded as they fell back into the conversation. He told Nikandros about how he had managed to piss the accused off enough that he broke out of the Mr. Perfect act long enough to scream and call Nicaise a whore, then Becky's boytoy. He told Nikandros about questioning the boy, about how sick he'd felt, how hard it had been to keep himself distant enough to avoid a panic attack but not so closed off that the jury thought he don't care. He told Nikandros about the closing arguments. When he got to telling him about how Becky had said she knew about Richard, Nik leaned in, gently playing with Nicaise's hair as he told him about how it had calmed him down enough to get his breath back.   
"And then the jury came in early- way too early," he said quietly. "I thought they were gonna vote not guilty, and defense looked so smug. But they didn't."  
"Nuca, that's- saying I'm proud of you doesn't feel like enough, but I can't think of anything strong enough to say instead," Nik said and Nicaise felt himself preen. "I'm so, so proud of you, Nicaise. You should be too - you've done amazing. Beyond amazing."  
Nicaise looked up at the man before he leant in and kissed the side of his mouth.   
"I'm pretty proud of me, too," he murmured, smiling when he felt Nik's hand fitting itself at the nape of his neck to pull him in for a proper kiss. It was soft and gentle and curious and everything Nicaise needed it to be.   
"Know how, a few weeks ago," he whispered. "We agreed to start finding a compromise if or when we were ready?"  
"I remember," Nik breathed.  
"I wanna try," Nicaise got out. "I mean, I know we're both going to mess up and figure stuff out and get stuff wrong along the way, but I wanna try."  
Nikandros swallowed. "There's some left over pizza in my apartment if you're ready to start talking some stuff over," he murmured and Nicaise nodded.  
"Yeah," he said quietly. "I'm ready."  
He let himself be pulled up off the sofa and followed Nikandros out of the penthouse, down the waxed hallway to the elevator. His heart was pounding so loud he expected Nikandros to hear it as they stepped into the box and the doors slid closed. They went down a floor and Nicaise followed the man to his apartment.  
He sat down on the couch as Nikandros brought over some pizza and juice boxes.   
"So what -?"  
"So how -?"  
They both paused and Nicaise felt himself smile. "You first," he said.  
"So what do I need to know?" Nikandros asked. "About your triggers or what happens if any get set off?"  
Nicaise thought the question over as he chewed, trying to decide how to word his response.  
"My main triggers are toys," he said. "And bareback. But sometimes random phrases or words can do it, even though other times they'll be absolutely fine. The same goes for some stuff in bed - sometimes I'll be absolutely fine with it but other times it'll set me off, even if I thought I could cope with it. And you already know about fireworks," he added after a beat. "Have you ever heard of the traffic light system?" he asked and Nikandros shook his head, a slice of cold pizza halfway to his mouth. "It's a way of figuring out if we're both ok for going forward or if somethings starting to trigger us or we need to take a break to figure stuff out. So green means everything's good, nothings wrong. Yellow is like a pause button - take a break and talk stuff out, figure out what's not working. And then red is just stop - either a triggers been hit or is about to get hit."  
Nikandros nodded slowly as he processed that. "That makes sense," he said.   
"So how do you want to do this?" Nicaise asked. "I know I may as well come with an instruction manual, and I know we both have kinda opposite methods for stuff."  
"I think if we get the basics down and spelled out first, that'll be a good start," Nikandros decided. "Basics being triggers, limits and our general stances on relationships and sex."  
Nicaise nodded slowly as he took another bite. He gestured for Nik to continue.  
"The only trigger I know about so far is fireworks," the man said. "Anything else that pushes me, it doesn't cause panic attacks. Sometimes I'll get a lot more angry or upset over something than I should, but I don't know what the trigger for those times are. Yet, anyway."  
"What about your limits?" Nicaise asked.  
"Honestly, I'm not sure," Nik said, frowning slightly. "You know yourself a lot better than I know myself, Nicaise. I'm still figuring out stuff that you've known about yourself for years - sexuality, attraction, likes and dislikes - it's all still new to me. So I think I'm up for anything you're alright with, and we can figure out my limits from there."  
"That's fair," Nicaise murmured. He took a mouthful of juice before he spoke again. "What about relationships and sex?"  
"I already said I don't do casual hookups or friends with benefits," Nikandros said softly. "When I was away, there were a few people - it was more than friends with benefits, even if it wasn't an official or long-term relationship. It was always real, there were always feelings involved, always plans for the future, even if that future was just the rest of that deployment or mission."  
Nicaise licked his lips.  
"The only main limits I've got are bareback and anything that makes me feel like I can't breathe," he said. "Other than that I'll probably be up for trying." He took a breath. "And I don't know how relationships work because I've never been in one."  
"Ever?"  
"Ever," he echoed quietly. "It was Richard, then hookups and friends with benefits and abusers and creeps and drugs and sex with anyone who even looked at me twice. Once I was clean from that, it was Ter. We were never exclusive to each other, and we've always put our friendship above anything sexual. But we were never dating."  
Nikandros took that in and the subject changed. They spoke for over two hours, figuring out what the basics were and building on some of them. By the time Nicaise was letting Nikandros lead him through to the bedroom, all the pizza was gone and it was pitch black outside.   
"Can we go really slow?" he heard himself ask as Nik kissed down his neck. "You're a lot bigger than Ter."  
"Of course," Nik murmured against his ear and Nicaise shuddered. "We can go as slow as you need, Nuca. And if I hurt you or you need to stop, tell me. Alright?"  
"Alright," he breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs-  
Earned it- The Weeknd 
> 
> The next few chapters will be quite short, because the story is coming to an end and I'm really hoping to get it all up before New Years. So expect random updates for the rest of the decade ;D


	9. Cuddles for breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BONUS CHAPTER FROM TER'S POV  
(Set immediately after Nicaise and Nikandros leave the penthouse)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warnings for this one? I think?  
Maybe discussion of sex & aftercare? But that's it?

Ter leaned against the French doors as he texted the groupchat he was in with Laurent and Damen. He went back up the hall and started cutting the veg up, looking up when the front door opened less than a minute later.  
"How much did they talk after we left?" Laurent asked as he came over to the kitchen area, Damen on his tail.   
"Maybe fifteen minutes," Ter said, letting Damen take over cutting the veg as he sat up on the counter next to Laurent. "Then they got kinda quiet so I guess they were making out. Then Nico said something that was too quiet for me to hear. But they left right after that."  
"What did they even talk about?"   
"Nico's day in court," Ter shrugged. "Then Nik said how proud he was and how amazing Nico had done."  
Damen snorted while Laurent started giggling quietly, his shoulders shaking.   
"So what time are we calling?" Damen asked. "Before or after midnight?"  
"I say closer to three in the morning," Laurent mused. "What are you thinking?"  
"Closer to one. Ter?"  
"Closer to nine in the morning," he said. "No way is Nico passing up on morning sex."  
"With which one of yous?" Damen asked and Laurent cackled. 

...

Ter frowned as he rolled over, the him of the shower too loud in the quiet room. It took two seconds for his brain to remember the night before and then he was out of the bed and leaning into the en-suite. Nico was in the shower, his suit shirt and pants in a pile near Ter's feet. His caramel-honey hair was black under the water, and his pale skin was littered with hickies which were highlighted by the steam and water.  
"Morning." He could hear the grin in his voice, and his cheeks hurt when Nico looked over at him, his lips swollen and jaw puffy.  
"Don't make me laugh," he said and Ter was surprised he had any voice left. "If I laugh I'll fall over."  
Ter snorted but moved into the room, leaning back against the far wall as he watched Nico.  
"Was he as good as you thought he'd be?" he asked and Nicaise groaned in response.   
"He was so good," he said. "Kinda clumsy and not so great at teasing, but so fucking good. And - fuck, Ter he's giant. I'd forgotten what hung monster cocks feel like."  
Ter tilted his head. "Are you good?" When Nico gave him a confused glance over his shoulder Ter continued. "Nico, you haven't had sex since we last hooked up. Going from me, to abstinence, to getting rammed by Nik- who you've been crushing on and fantasising about for years... are you OK after all of that?"  
Nico tilted his head in the spray. "All things considered," he murmured. "Yeah. I think so." And then; "Can you check my ass? He didn't check it this morning to see if it was still puffy or if he'd stretched it too far."  
"Hands on the wall and bend over. Slowly," Ter added, feeling himself smile gently. Nico did as told as Ter walked over, not flinching when he felt Ter's hands on his thighs and cheeks. He knelt down, spreading Nico's cheeks as gently as he could.   
"You're still a little rosy and puffy, but nothing looks torn or ripped," he murmured before kissing Nico's cheeks and the nape of his back. He tapped Nico's hip out of habit as he stood up, hands snaking around the other guy's waist as he straightened up.  
"How come he didn't check it?" Ter heard himself ask a few moments later.  
"I skipped out on aftercare," Nico muttered as Ter rested his chin on his shoulder.   
"Why'd you chicken out of aftercare? You know how much you can flip if you don't get it," Ter murmured against , Nico's skin.  
"Last night was amazing," he whispered. "And this morning. I didn't want all of that to be ruined if he was bad at aftercare."  
"So come up and get your best mate to weigh in on it?" Ter asked, smiling when he felt Nico lean against him on instinct.  
"Yeah."  
"Alright," he said, kissing the edge of Nico's jaw. "Cuddles for breakfast it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -  
Gift of a friend - Demi Lovato   
Everything - Michael Buble


	10. Lines and definitions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise and Nikandros learn more about each other as time goes on, and they set their lines and limits while discovering others. 
> 
> This chapter is really short and there actually isn't... any?? Talking... it's just narrative I guess, and just for context for the next chapter. It's a bridge I guess?  
Anyway yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for  
Mentions / discussions of cheating  
Mentions / discussions of monogamy v non-monogamy  
I think that's it?

Time passed and Nicaise slowly let himself accept the fact he was floating on cloud nine. He breezed through his classes for the rest of the term, and the two days a week at the firm seemed brighter. He knew it was stupid, knew it was cliché. But still. Knowing he was going home to his brother, his brother's husband, his best friend and his boyfriend every night... it was a good feeling.   
Though having a boyfriend was weird. Very weird. He hadn't even realised Nik was his boyfriend- not at first. Sure, he had known they were more than friends, more than friends with benefits, but he hadn't thought of them as boyfriends. Not until Ter had referred to Nik as Nicaise's boyfriend one morning and Nicaise had realised he wasn't arguing or correcting him.   
Subsequently, Ter had collected fifty quid from Laurent five seconds later.  
After that, Nicaise and Nikandros had been making a point of talking over where they were at least once a week - which page of the relationship they were on, any issues they were having, anything new they had to figure out, any needs that weren't being met.   
The main issue they had agreed on was aftercare. Nikandros wanted to try it, wanted to be able to give it to Nicaise and was trying to understand how important it was; but Nicaise couldn't let himself wind down enough for it, couldn't let himself submit that much. He had explained it to Nikandros - had explained it was because he didn't want the sex to be ruined, had explained it had to be right else he would end up flipping. For the most part, the older man had understood. So they had agreed Nicaise could keep getting aftercare from Ter, with the condition Nikandros would ask Ter how to look after Nicaise since he had been doing it for so long.  
Even though Laurent and Damen had already known they were together, Nikandros had insisted on telling them and Ter after a few weeks. He had said it was "proper", and Nicaise had agreed since it had seemed important to Nikandros, even if he didn't totally understand the fuss around it all. After that, he and Ter hadn't gone further than a snog.   
Nikandros had walked in on the two of them kissing and had gotten upset; he had seen it as Nicaise cheating on him, while Nicaise had simply seen it as affection. They had ended up almost having their first fight, but Ter had gotten involved and made them both sit down and talk it out, with him being the referee. Nikandros had explained that he considered it cheating because kissing was romantic and he and Nicaise were supposed to be exclusive to each other, so Nicaise kissing Ter betrayed that trust and agreement. In turn, Nicaise had explained there were no romantic feelings between him and Ter and there never had been and never would be, and to him kissing was a sign of affection rather than something he only did with someone he was romantically involved with. He hadn't considered it as cheating because he and Ter were just friends - kissing between them was the equivalent of hugging and cuddling, since niether had intended on taking it further than a snog.  
It had taken over two hours and they had talked about their feelings, explained their perspectives and listened to each other. At the end of it all, Nikandros had decided it was alright for Nicaise and Ter to still snog since it was part of their friendship and he didn't want them to feel forced to alter that now that they weren't having sex, but only on the condition that it didn't go beyond a snog - no making out, no groping, no marks. Nicaise had agreed, and Ter had given them both a cookie and kiss on the forehead as a reward for avoiding a fight.  
Later that night they had made sure to talk about what they considered cheating - somehow they had talked for hours, Nikandros breaking it down and walking Nicaise through it when he got confused. The general gist that Nicaise had understood was that Nikandros considered kissing, sex, anything related to getting off and cuddling while undressed as all equally intimate and that they should all only be done with the person one was romantically involved with. In other terms, Nicaise shouldn't be doing any of them with Ter, or anyone except Nikandros.  
Nicaise had tried to explain that to him, kissing and cuddling - regardless of the amount of clothes being worn at the time - were just ways of showing affection. Sex and getting off were a different matter. He told Nikandros how he considered having sex with or getting someone else off as cheating, but kissing and cuddling were just platonic and didn't count as cheating. He also explained how he didn't consider any of those things romantic - on the other hand, he didn't really know what made something qualify as romantic in the first place.   
It had taken a few conversations across a week or two, but they eventually reached a middle ground they were both comfortable with; Nicaise could kiss and cuddle with Ter as long as neither of them got turned on from it. If either got turned on, Nicaise would have to break it off before it lead to anything. And in return, Nikandros would try to remember Nicaise had never been monogamous or romantically involved with anyone in a healthy or safe way, so he had had to come up with his own rules and boundaries and categories for different people and relationships along the way.   
At some point, Nicaise had started spending more nights at Nikandros' place, staying over even when they didn't end up having sex. He had gotten into the habit of texting Nikandros when he got off the subway each evening after classes or work, and if he was home Nicaise would go to his apartment instead of going up to the penthouse. When he stayed at the apartment he usually texted Ter, Laurent or Damen to let them know so they didn't bother making extra food for him.  
At some point he had a quarter of Nikandros' closet for his own things, along with a drawer, a shelf in the bathroom and half a shelf in the fridge-freezer.   
Considering how insistent Nikandros was about defining things, he hadn't defined when, how or why they had gotten to the point of Nicaise spending more than half his week in the apartment, buying food for both of them, cooking together and talking loosely about the future with each other in it.   
But Nicaise found he didn't really mind.  
In fact, he found that he was letting himself enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs  
Friends - Ed Sheeran


	11. So, so pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicaise, Ter, Nikandros, Laurent and Damen go out to celebrate Gus' birthday on his behalf, and Nicaise gives Nikandros a surprise treat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for  
Grief   
Discussion of body hair I guess  
Lingerie  
Smut  
References to past trauma  
Brief humiliation I guess??  
I think that's it
> 
> No, I don't know when Gus' birthday is. No, I don't know how old Nikandros is. But if there's one thing I've been consistent with in this fic, it's the messed up timeliness and I'm not a quitter so we're sticking with it

"Do yous wanna go out tomorrow night?"  
Laurent glanced over, feigning a surprised look when he saw Nicaise.  
"Oh so you do still live here," he said and Nicaise flipped him off as he dropped down on the sofa. "Where would we be going and why?"  
"Don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you," Nicaise sighed, lolling his head to look at his brother. Ter and Damen were in the kitchen but he knew they were listening. "For Gus' birthday, I was thinking we could all go out. Celebrate it for him."  
"That's not a bad idea," Damen said, looking over at them. "Laurent?"  
Laurent pursed his lips. "Where would we be going?" he asked and Nicaise shrugged.  
"Somewhere that he would've wound up dragging us out to if he was still around," he decided. "Obviously not a bar or club though."  
"What about that restaurant he always went on about?" Ter suggested.  
"Which one?" Laurent muttered and Ter rolled his eyes.  
"The one with the weird pizza bread things," he said and Laurent made an agreeing noise in his throat.  
"Right, that one," he said.   
"It's not a bad idea," Ter hedged, apparently done with cutting veg as he turned around to face Laurent completely. "I mean, if we don't go out we'll all just spend the day moping around and feeling like shit."  
"True," Laurent sighed. "Alright, we'll go out. But not too late," he decided.  
"Is your boyfriend coming too?" Ter asked, grinning when Nicaise had to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes.  
"I feel like you get more of a kick from saying that than you should," he said and Ter shrugged as he waltzed over, dropping himself half on Nicaise's lap and half on the sofa.  
"Maybe I do, maybe I don't," he said with a too-innocent expression and Nicaise huffed.  
"Yeah, Nik's coming with us," he said, absently running his hands up and down Ter's calves.  
"Is this the first time we'll be going out as a family since you two got together?" Ter murmured and Nicaise smiled softly.  
"Yeah," he realised, and Ter grinned.

...

The next day, he woke up to an empty bed and the sound of the shower already on. He went to roll back over and go back to sleep but stopped when he realised Ter's side of the bed was cold. Usually Ter was really quick in the shower - and if he wasn't going anywhere he usually just got back in bed afterwards.  
Frowning, Nicaise got up and went across the room, gently pushing the en-suite door open.  
"Terry?"  
"Go back to bed, Nico." Ter's voice was shaky and Nicaise walked in, gently sitting down on the tiles next to his friend. His cheeks were puffy, matching his red eyes, and Nicaise kissed his jaw softly.  
"I miss him too," he said quietly and Ter grunted. "I'm not gonna pretend to know what yous two had or what yous could've had, but I know you cared about each other. And I know you loved him, even though it wasn't romantic. We all loved him. And he loved us."  
Ter gulped, letting Nicaise place soft kisses all over his face, neck and shoulders.  
"Are we staying here or going back to bed?" he asked softly and Ter huffed out a breath.  
"You're not leaving me alone, are you." He didn't bother making it a question and Nicaise shook his head.  
"Not when you're like this," he said and Ter sighed.  
"Yeah, we're staying here."  
Nicaise nodded, standing up and shimmying out of his boxers as he walked over to the metal cabinet, taking out his tube of hair removal cream and the scraper before going back over to the shower, sitting up on the side bench out of the spray. He began rubbing a thick layer of the stuff onto his legs, leaving the tube to the side as he rinsed his hands before sitting back against the wall to wait. The few times he had tried to be quick and do his whole body at once, he had lost track of time and wound up patchy and burned.  
Ter watched without comment, only scrunching his nose up slightly at the smell. It wasn't the first time he'd watched Nicaise taking his hair off - 'skinning' or 'scalping', he usually called it. Initially he'd enjoyed watching, had said it was almost therapeutic in some weird way. But then Nicaise had decided to sit on the bed while applying the cream and waiting for it to set and had wound up getting it everywhere. Since then, Ter had banned him from leaving the bathroom with it.   
It wasn't a new thing for them - Nicaise had managed to convince Ter to try going hairless once before and they had quickly learned he was better suited to it than Ter was. The older boys had cursed him out for weeks until it had all started growing back. Apparently he didn't like being without his extra layer of insulation.  
On the other hand, Nicaise couldn't stand his body hair. He'd always preferred being hairless. Whether it was a left over effect from Richard's grooming or it was just because it was easier to stay hygienic, he didn't really care to figure out. Ter had never asked, which he was thankful for.  
After eight minutes, Nicaise started scraping the cream off, rinsing the scraper - or 'squeegee' as Ter called it - in the shower spray every few seconds. Once his legs were clear, he reapplied the cream under his arms, huffing as Ter smirked slightly when he had to sit with his arms outstretched for the next ten minutes.  
Neither of them spoke while Nicaise repeated the process until he was back to being hairless, putting the tube back in the cabinet before rinsing the last of the cream and the smell off.  
"So what's the surprise?"  
He looked over at Ter's voice. "Huh?"  
Ter tilted his head slightly towards Nicaise where he was standing under the shower, his thigh in line with Ter's brow. "You're planning something for your boyfriend tonight," he said. "And that package under the bed is part of it."  
Nicaise rolled his eyes, sitting down next to Ter under the spray.  
"Remember the gift Gus gave us for your birthday?"   
As soon as the words were out his mouth Ter was grinning and resting his head back against the tiles.  
"Oh, he's in for a treat," he said. "If you're still walking tomorrow, I'm gonna be disappointed in your boyfriend on your behalf."  
Nicaise tilted his head. "Why do you always call him that now?"  
"Call him what?"  
"My boyfriend."  
"Because that's what he is," Ter said with a shrug and Nicaise shook his head.  
"No, I mean - you've only called him by his name like less than five times since we got together. Why do you always call him my boyfriend instead?"  
he expected a quick rebuttal but frowned when Ter looked down.  
"Terry?"  
Ter licked his teeth, a habit he'd picked up from Nicaise. When he looked back up his smile was sad. "One of us got our older guy," he said quietly and Nicaise's stomach dropped. "I just always call him your boyfriend because that's what he is - that's what you've always wanted him to be, that's what you got. You got your older guy, Nico."  
"Terry," Nicaise sighed, cuddling into Ter's side and resting his head on the older guy's shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Ter's fingers absently tracing the lines of the peacock on Nicaise's side. "I can stay," he murmured softly. "I don't have to go down to Nik's tonight. I can stay here with you and-"  
"No." Ter's voice was firm and Nicaise looked up.   
"But-"  
"Nico, if you stay I'll just feel bad about you not getting laid. And for Nik not getting to see you all dolled up for him. You're going."  
Nicaise smiled slightly, kissing the side of Ter's mouth before putting his head back on his shoulder as they lapsed into silence.

...

Almost ten hours later, Nicaise was leaning back against the mirrored wall of the elevator as Ter, Nikandros, Laurent and Damen followed him into it and the doors slid shut. Laurent tapped the button for the penthouse suite and Nikandros pressed the one for his apartment floor. When the doors slid open, he glanced at Nicaise.  
"See you tomorrow," Nicaise hummed, and Nikandros nodded slightly as he stepped out.  
"See you then," he said.  
As soon as the doors slid closed Nicaise was taking his jacket off and handing it to Ter, already trying to undo his shirt buttons with one hand.  
"Do I even want to ask?" Laurent sighed.  
"I've only got like ten minutes until he's out the shower," Nicaise grunted as he got his shirt off, handing it to Ter as he undone his fly, kicking his shoes off as the elevator doors opened again. He hopped up the hallway, already shimmying and tripping to get out of his jeans.  
"Actually," Laurent muttered as Nicaise stumbled through the door and down towards his bedroom, losing his boxers on the way. "Forget I asked."  
The French doors bounced open again as Nicaise skidded onto the bed, opening the box that he'd put on top before they'd left earlier that evening. He started taking out the silk pieces, laying them on the bed. Ter came in the room and shut the doors, leaning against them as he watched.  
Nicaise pulled the transparent black panties on first, followed by the garter belt and stockings. He flexed his legs a few times like he had last time, making sure the stockings were secure and wouldn't come undone by themselves. Ter walked over and sat on the edge of the bed as Nicaise started slowly pulling the top half on. It was some sort of black and blue creation of lace and ribbon that crisscrossed up his chest until it ended in a collar around his neck. Ter gently ran his fingers over it at the back, untwisting and readjusting some strings as Nicaise pulled his mirror and makeup bag over. He started with eyeliner, flicking it out in a sharp cat eye before he lined his waterline with white and his under eye with smokey grey and blue, putting some extra white on the inner corners to make them look bigger and brighter. Then he carefully did his lipstick before dusting his face in transparent shimmering powder.  
When he turned around, Ter was already holding his jeans out to him.  
"Less than five minutes now," he murmured and Nicaise made an inhuman noise as he tried to pull his jeans on fast, toeing into his shoes as Ter did his fly up before handing him his shirt, doing up half of the buttons while Nicaise did the other half.  
"Wait," Ter said when Nicaise went to head for the door. Nicaise stilled, smiling when Ter ran his fingers through his hair, restyling or tidying it up.  
"How do I look?" he asked when Ter stepped back.  
"Beautiful," Ter said. "And so, so pretty."  
Nicaise automatically whined and Ter grinned. "Hang on, I almost forgot -" He reached into his back pocket, handing a small cardboard box to Nicaise. When he saw the label he started laughing.  
"Considering I couldn't even keep up with your hairpin recovery time last time you were dolled up, I figured your boyfriend would need them," Ter said with a grin. "He's closer to forty than thirty, after all."  
Nicaise snorted but slid the box into his front pocket.  
"Thanks, Terry."  
"Three minutes, now."  
"Fuck." Nicaise turned, hurrying up the hall with a "Someone annoy terry until he gets in a cold shower!" thrown over his shoulder before he was out the door and running for the elevator, skidding and grabbing onto it as he pressed the call button. Once inside, he pressed the button for Nikandros' floor repeatedly, like that would make it go any faster.   
Once the doors eventually pinged open he ran down the corridor before letting himself in, relaxing when he heard the shower was still running.   
He shut the door softly behind himself and slowly made his way down to the bedroom, easing the door open and shut before he started stripping, taking his time to stay quiet and not rip any of the lingerie. Once he was out of his clothes, he put them in a pile next to the wardrobe, taking the cardboard box out of his jeans pocket.   
Since the shower was still on, he opened it up and took a sheet of pills out, snapping a line off and put the rest of the sheet back in the box, which he put under Nikandros' pillow.  
As he got settled on top of the bed, he felt the nerves kicking in. What if Nik wasn't into it? At Ter's birthday dinner, Nik hadn't reacted negatively to the lingerie or the stories and photos. But still. What if he'd just been being polite? What if it wasn't a turn on? What if it was a turn off? What if he didn't like it at all? What if all of this had been for nothing? What if he told Nicaise to just get dressed and take the makeup off? What if he thought Nicaise was gross for getting dolled up? What if-  
The shower cut off and Nicaise gulped. Fuck.  
He listened as Nik came out of the bathroom and down the hall towards the bedroom. When the footsteps stopped outside the bedroom door, Nicaise took a breath and put the strip of pills in his mouth, holding it between his teeth. The door opened and he forced himself to stay still.  
Nik got two steps into the bedroom before he froze, eyes zeroed in on Nicaise kneeling with his legs spread in the middle of the bed. They were both silent and Nicaise expected his heart to jump out of his chest from how fast it was going.  
"What," Nik eventually got out. "The fuck."  
Nicaise felt his heart drop and automatically went to chew his lip, forgetting about the strip of pills in his mouth. His teeth hit the metal as he worried it, and Nikandros frowned slightly.  
"What's that?"  
When Nicaise didn't answer, the man crossed the room, kneeling on the bed as he pulled the strip out of Nicaise's mouth. He turned it over, eyes darting to Nicaise when he saw the little blue pills.  
"Tell me you didn't take any of these."  
Nicaise forced a grin. "Of course not," he said, mentally cursing himself when his voice came out slightly shaky. "They're for you."  
He made himself shuffle closer to the man, wrapping his arms around his still-damp shoulders. "I mean, we both know you're good at distracting me from how different our recovery tines are, but you've got to admit- four hours, nonstop, getting to do whatever you want to me?" He nipped at the man's earlobe, tugging gently. "Sounds like a good-"  
He stopped when Nik pushed him away, back onto the bed. His eyes raked over Nicaise slowly, taking in every millimetre of skin, lace and ribbon.  
"You really thought-,"   
Nicaise's heart sank at the amount of anger in Niks voice. Fuck.  
"-that you'll be able to go for four hours while I've got you here, looking like a done-up whore?"  
His heart skipped into overdrive as he looked up at Nikandros, who still looked and sounded angry. But there was something else in his eyes, on his face. Something almost predatory. Primal.  
The man took one of the pills, swallowing it over dry and then he was pushing Nicaise down harshly on the bed. When Nicaise bucked, Nik laughed, slow and deep.  
"What are you doing?" he asked, pulling his hips away so Nicaise couldn't get any friction to grind against. When he met Nicaise's gaze, the man's eyes were dark and glinting. "You got all dressed up for me, and then gave me viagra. And you still thought I'd let you get off first?" He tutted, running a finger along Nicaise's jaw.   
"You've still got another half hour to wait."   
Nicaise gulped, only just realising what he had gotten himself in for. 

...

Everything hurt. At some point, his legs had gone from number to painful to painfully numb to agony. His throat was raw, his face hurt, and every muscle felt strained.  
He half-climbed half-fell off of Nik, landing on his side next to the man, both of them panting. Despite how much he had teased, edged and fucked Nicaise the night before, Nikandros had still woken him up by fucking him awake. At some point they had switched to Nicaise riding, Nik's hands firm and strong on his hips and thighs, lifting him up and down when his thighs had threatened to give up.  
Groaning weakly, Nicaise snuggled closer, headbutting his way under the man's arm and cuddling into his side. After a pause, he felt Nik's hand in his hair, fingers carding through the strands as his other hand moved to rest on Nicaise's waist.  
"Let me take care of you," he asked a few minutes later. "Nuca, let me take care of you. Please."  
This time, Nicaise didn't have the strength or willpower to say no. So he felt himself nodding instead as he buried deeper into Nikandros' chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -  
Loft music - The Weeknd  
Pretty girl - Clairo  
Afterglow- All time low
> 
> (Oh, I didn't write what actually happened when they went out for dinner? Oops... but yeah I have no idea what would happen or where they'd go so like...have smut instead?)
> 
> (And do I even need to keep apologising for the formatting or can we just go with it at this point?)


	12. Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the start of summer and a lot of things happen at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? A chapter with no triggers?   
I think so...
> 
> BUT EMOTIONAL OK THERE'S FEELS IN THIS ONE

Sighing, Nicaise dropped himself onto the bench to wait for his train. The boards all said there was a seventeen minute delay, and he was already running ten minutes early.   
Becky had spent the day opening windows, sitting by fans and drinking water. It had taken the majority of Nicaise's willpower not to make a remark about her looking like a soft porn star while doing it - if any company used her to sell their water, Nicaise was ready to buy a whole fucking waterfall of the stuff.   
He couldn't blame her though - it was way too hot. Considering it was only June, it was beyond too hot.   
When he had gotten out of the firm, the streets had been packed, along with the roads. Even the subway station was busy, people crammed on, children and babies screeching either for attention or from heatstroke. It was the first week of the summer holidays, and apparently everyone wanted to be out enjoying it as much as possible.  
Nicaise had finished his school year with a summer placement on Becky's team at the firm. She had warned him it would be full-on, being there every day rather than just twice a week.   
Meanwhile, Ter had gotten a shadowing placement over the summer at the city's largest children's hospital. When they had compared time tables they'd found out they were meant to be working almost the exact same hours all summer. Or at least they would be on days they didn't get pulled into doing overtime. How either of them got pulled into overtime despite not even getting paid a real wage in the first place really didn't make sense to Nicaise. And yet, in the two weeks they had both been in their placements, he'd already done over ten hours of overtime. Somehow.

Over forty minutes later, he shuffled up the street towards the penthouse, barely going two blocks in ten minutes from how packed it was. He didn't bother trying to push his way through to get home quicker. His whole body was sore from helping Ter move into the spare room over the weekend.  
"It feels weird sleeping in our bed without you," Ter had said when Nicaise had asked why he wanted his own room all of a sudden. "And your boyfriend should be able to spend nights in your bed, rather than it always being the other way around."  
On Saturday the four of them had gone furniture shopping, and on Sunday all five had built and reorganised the spare room into something resembling a bedroom.   
That morning, Nicaise had gone through for breakfast only to find Laurent and Ter already making it. Ter's rent money had been on the counter, and Laurent had picked it up on his way past before stopping and frowning when he counted it.  
"Why is there an extra two hundred?"  
"Cause I'm not sharing off Nico anymore," Ter had said without looking over. Laurent had tilted his, eyes analysing before he had pocketed the money and walked away.  
"You're going to miss the bus," Ter had said and Nicaise was out the door seconds later.  
Now, he was exhausted and hungry and beyond thirsty. His head was hurting, but he couldn't tell if it was the heat, dehydration or the fact he'd been working all day after barely sleeping the night before. Probably some mix of them all, he figured. It had been weird sleeping without Ter, and he had realised he hadn't slept alone since Ter had moved in. Whereas Ter had gotten used to sleeping alone when Nicaise had started spending nights at Nik's.  
It felt like everything was changing around him and he wasn't keeping up.

By the time he got back to the penthouse all he wanted was to sleep. He trudged out of the elevator and up the hallway, pushing the front door open but stopped a bear before he shut it behind himself.   
"You know Nicaise and I have been together for a few months now," Nikandros' voice said. "And we've been getting serious."  
"You know you both define 'serious' differently?" Laurent's voice asked.  
"I know," Nik's said. "We have different bases and landmarks, but we're both in whichever stage we consider being serious with each other."  
"Is this going where I think it's going," Damen asked.   
"I think so," Ter hummed and Nicaise chewed his lip.   
"I'd like to ask him to move in with me," Nikandros said and Nicaise lost his grip on the door, rushing to grab it again before it slammed shut. "But I'd like your permission first. Damen, you know I won't ask him without consent from yous- all of you."  
"He's an adult," Laurent said and Nicaise knew whatever he was about to say was a test. "He doesn't need our permission or approval to make his own choices."  
"But he's yours," Nik argued. "Laurent, he's your brother. He's a brother to all of you, in some way. I'm not going to ask him to move away from yous without your blessings."  
Nicaise slowly shut the door, trying to stay quiet.  
"Alright," Ter said eventually. "You've got mine." His tone shifted slightly. "But if you hurt my Nico, Laurent and Damen will be the least of your worries. Got it?"  
"Yes," Nik said seriously. "Thank you."  
"You already know you've got mine," Damen said. "You're good for each other."  
"Laurent?" Nik asked cautiously and Nicaise edged towards the doorway.   
Ter and Damen were against the fridge while Nik had his back to Nicaise as he looked at Laurent, who was leaning against the counter. Laurent's gaze met Nicaise's for a second and he felt himself nod slightly, smiling softly at his brother. Laurent searched his face for a few seconds, and Nicaise knew his brother would say no if he didn't believe Nicaise was ready for this.  
"Yes," Laurent sighed after a beat. "Permission, blessing, whatever it is you need. You've got it."  
"Thank you," Nik breathed and Nicaise gulped.  
"But I don't think you'll have to," Laurent added, and the others turned around to look at Nicaise, who had moved to standing in the doorway.  
"How long have you been standing there?" Nikandros asked after a pause.  
"Long enough," Nicaise said quietly. He took a breath. "Yes. I want to move in with you."  
Nikandros' face lit up and Nicaise realised even though everything was definitely changing around him, maybe he could keep up with it all. And maybe it was going to be a good change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs -  
Oath - Cher Lloyd ft. Becky G   
Thinking out loud- Ed Sheeran


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No triggers...again...  
Figured I should end on a happy note
> 
> I'm gay I can't do math so let's pretend these dates make sense

~ 5 YEARS LATER .... roughly ~

The sky was already dark as Nicaise pressed his key card into the entrance door, scanning his code into the security lock before the gate opened and let him through. He went up the flights of stairs to the seventh floor and along the hall, letting himself into the apartment.   
The staircase leading up to the second floor of the apartment was decorated with fairylights, and he flicked them on as he shut the door. He always liked them on, but Nik was still in the habit of turning them off when Nicaise wasn't home.  
Canvases and digital photo frames decorated the walls, some with photographs from places Nik had gone white deployed, others with photos from places he had taken Nicaise over the last few years. There were photos of Nicaise with Ter as well as Laurent and Damen, a few of them with Jokaste and Kastor's son at parties or celebrations.  
The sofa was up against the back wall, next to the tile-like window wall. Nik's coffee cup from that morning was still on the coffee table, next to the book Nicaise had been reading. He dropped his keys in the bowl next to the TV as he passed, shrugging out of his jacket and dropping it on the floor as he made his way through to the kitchen area. Finding it empty, he turned and went back the way he'd came, undoing his tie and dropping it as he got to the staircase.   
"Nik, you home?" he called as he started unbuttoned his shirt, going up the stairs slowly to make sure his foot didn't get caught in the decorative mesh between steps. The last time that had happened he'd needed six stitches in his eyebrow.   
He started on his belt once he was on the second floor, which was an open-plan bedroom, separated from the rest of the apartment by a thin curtain and banister. The bed was empty and made, so Nicaise dropped his belt on the floor as we went over to their bathroom, not bothering to knock as he pushed he door open.  
"Nik?" he called again, stopping when he saw the man in the shower, the glass door shut and his back to it.  
Nicaise lent gains the door jamb, watching Nik's back muscles flex and shiver as he washed his hair, the veins in his arms a stark contrast to his dark golden skin under the water. Swallowing, Nicaise kicked his shoes off, leaving them on the bathroom floor, leaving the door open as he went back to the bedroom, already undoing his fly. By the time he heard the shower cut off, he was lying naked across the bed as he checked his phone, boxers still inside his trousers on the floor and his shirt hanging off the edge of the bed.  
"You're like a cat," Nik said in a tired voice. "Constantly casting everywhere you go."  
"I'm flattered," Nicaise chirped. "I think."  
Nikandros huffed as he walked across the floor, stepping over Nicaise's clothes. He sat on the edge of the bed, wordlessly habding the tube of moisturiser over to Nicaise.  
"What time are we leaving tomorrow?" Nicaise asked as he knelt up, gently rubbing the cream into the older man's skin.  
"I was thinking around four," he murmured. "Then we've got half an hour or so to get over there."  
Nicaise hummed in agreement. Ter was graduating next week, and Laurent had decided they had to celebrate a week early, since Ter had refused to let him throw a party on the day. Since their loft was on the other side of the city from the penthouse, and traffic would be murder, Nicaise guessed half an hour would be long enough to get there early before everyone else started showing up.   
Ter had also refused to let Laurent have a celebration for him getting a job at the city's children's hospital, saying it wasn't needed since the job had been guaranteed for him once he graduated - his shadow partner had told him so within a few months of him starting his apprenticeship. So Laurent had decided to throw one large celebration instead of two smaller ones, and Ter had only agreed because it was a week before anything actually happened.  
Nikandros sighed as he let Nicaise pulled him down onto his back, climbing on top as gently started moisturising the man's chest. He let Nik kissed up his arm, lips passing over the ink there. For their first year anniversary, Nicaise had gotten three dates tattooed on his inner left arm, just below his elbow - 221220 / 110224 / 280624; the day they had met, the day they had gotten together, and the day they had moved in together. Nikandros had looked like he was going to cry and then Nicaise had gotten bent over the couch, so he'd taken that as the man liking the tattoo.  
Now, almost four years later, it was still Nik's go-to spot for soft kisses and bites.  
Eventually Nicaise finished moisturising Nik's body and opened the man's cabinet to put it back in but froze when he saw a small velveteen box sitting in its place. Without thinking, he put the moisturiser on the floor and picked the box up, holding it gently. Behind him, Nikandros was still talking.  
"It's going to be a pretty big party, from what Damen said. Laurent's wanting to invite Jokaste, Kastor and their kids, and Laurent said something about a few people from work that Ter knows. It's going to be pretty crowded."  
Nicaise turned around, holding the box like it was made of glass. Nikandros stopped talking and just raised his brows.  
"Open it."  
Gulping, he lifted the lid, letting it spring up. The inside was a soft velvet cushion, with what looked like a keyring in the spot where a ring ought to have been. Frowning, he took the keyring out, looking up at Nikandros. The man was smirking at him and looking unbelievably smug.  
"Like I said," he shrugged, and Nicaise noticed he had a hand behind his back. "It's going to be a pretty big crowd. A lot bigger than the one he got for my going away party." He tilted his chin to the small box and keyring in Nicaise's hand. "Last I checked, adding you and a surprise to that mix has a tendency to backfire."  
Nicaise watched as Nik took a pale blue velveteen box out from behind his back, popping it open to reveal a simple silver and wood band inside.   
"I figured it was better not to let you ruin this surprise," the man said and Nicaise grinned.   
"I'm going to the tattoo parlor again this week, aren't I."  
"Already booked your appointment for tomorrow morning," Nikandros said as Nicaise crossed back to the bed, climbing on his lap as he took the ring out of the box. It was finely made, carved oak or antler on the inside, with a rounded silver band on the outside.  
"I'm figured you'd want the numbers there for the others to see," Nik murmured and Nicaise heard himself laughing, could feel how wide his grin was as he handed the ring to Nikandros.  
"Yes," he laughed. "Yes, yes, yes-"  
The man slid the band onto Nicaise's left ring finger, kissing his knuckles and then up his hand, his wrist, his arm, his shoulder, neck and eventually his lips. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Nicaise knew he was still grinning and laughing.

The next day, he sent a photo to the groupchat he was in with Laurent, Damen and Ter. It was of his arm, skin still red around the new ink.   
221220 / 110224 / 280624 / 170729

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs-   
Perfect - Ed Sheeran 
> 
> If you want the full play list for this whole series, my Spotify is Rabb1tPr1nce and the play list is called Nicaise (Capri-Sons) 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's read this, commented on it, liked it and asked for more of it. I've really enjoyed writing this series :)

**Author's Note:**

> Songs:  
Keep holding on - Avril Lavigne  
Fuck away the pain - divide the day  
Warrior - Imagine Dragons  
Dammed if I do ya (Dammed if I don't) - all time low  
Creep - Radio head (Jade Facer cover)  
F-R-I-E-N-D-S - Marshmello & Anne-Marie


End file.
